maybe this page looks rough because i feel rough.
another depressed & anxious day in the life
& i’m all like,
“since i feel like crap & a big dumb
failure…i should work on my comic about the destructive voices
that tell me i am crap
& a big dumb failure.”
so here is the very first page of
just me & my lizard brain
i am actually pretty excited about it, regardless of my depression & anxiety. what better way to deal with feeling like crap than to write a comic about feeling like crap?
i’m a genius.
it is yet to be determined. (though a quiz on facebook today told me i am a genius)
interesting side note. my main character is named after my very first therapist. maeve. what a cool name, right? it got vetoed as a baby name, so i’m naming this creation in her honor.
i hope you enjoy it. when i am feeling more centered & zen, i will try to do some chinese ink brush paintings of the cornfields i see all around me.
maybe some stark raving whimsy when i am–um–stark raving whimsical?
and when i am in the mood for fighting zombies, we will see more of moses jones!
a wonderful friend whom i have known since second grade (that is 1978 for those of you unaware of my timeline) sent me a book on chinese brush painting that teaches “the four gentleman” as part of its practice. plum blossom. bamboo. chrysanthemum. and orchid. this is my first attempt at painting them–and! a thank you set for my lovely friend who is also an artist and has her work here.
also! just a couple of quick sketches i did using ink & brush and the topic of stark raving whimsy.
and! because i have no minions to monopolize…er…i mean…enrich my time–i am able to do other projects i have thus far only done in my head. mostly with buttons. i love buttons.
i have a week with no kids!!
i have not had a week with no kids since the invention of my kids in 2005. that’s going on eleven years, people.
so i have all this nervous energy that i usually use to herd children that i now am using to see how much i can get done in a week without kids.
i started this experiment of ink on canvas about–what–2 months ago? now i am actually working on it. i like it.
i have an idea for a comic starring me & my lizard brain.
i am going to start on a series of steampunk chinese brush paintings using my stark raving whimsy storyline.
i am working on script for new pages of mojo.
i am doing this with the buttons i have been obsessively collecting from thrift stores:
do let me know if you have any button jewelry needs. i am your quixotic mama.
confusion perfume was discontinued in 2002 due to relationship happiness, but at one point i drew a new one. it would have to have been after 2008 because i did not join the facebook community before 2009. i found it as i was digging for paper for misha to draw on. it just needed to be inked.
i also found this one which would have been done before 2008? maybe? but of a series that came after confusion perfume.
i call this series i don’t know what i’m doing. it is my series about being a mom. two of this series were actually published in hip mama zine back in 2007/2008.
other than inking these and doodling in my journal, i haven’t gotten anything new done. i am in the middle of packing & leaving dusty in the dust. hopefully, once i am settled, i will do more moses jones as well as more stark raving whimsy.
and i will take over the world.
probably in that order.
when i was at zine fest, the postcards i was having printed up to sell were not ready. i freaked out a little…and then i started painting postcards as i sat at my table. some weren’t even dry as they were bought by the zine scene.
here are the rest:
also! for my final digital media class i had to do an “alter ego” website. i chose to do bluejean’s website. for the video i narrated my big whimsy pieces “reading rainbow” style. it was kind of rushed. i should have worked on it more, but i was down to the wire. i worked on the video a lot–but you may not be able to tell because it is so rough & needs so much more work. is this something i should do? polish this format? who thinks this is a good venue for my stuff?
(please keep in mind the story is rough & the narration is rushed–if you only have time for one, spoketh the black bear is slightly better than hilda’s dilemma)
spoketh the black bear & hilda’s dilemma
now the semester is over and i have to pick my own direction. should i flip a coin or spin a bottle?
i finished bluejean’s arm for my art class.
i’m pretty happy with it. i really love paper mache. the messiness of it even is fun for me. i want to keep experimenting with paper mache and related projects.
also, i have worked a lot on my second big whimsy piece (somewhat visible in the background)…i have been adding random visuals. stuff i pull out of my ass. i think my epitaph will be “she was good at pulling stuff out of her ass.” i got that from my dad. thanks, dad!
anyhoo, i am starting to like the piece better. it’s getting weirder & weirder. which is good–but i worry that i am just david-lynching it up. whenever i watch a david lynch movie i get the feeling he was thinking, “let’s throw a dwarf in right here. that would be weird.” i want my weirdness to be pertinent to the story. but i also like weird…hmmm….
so i’m having fun with my art, which is the point, right? i need to have the big whimsy piece–yet to be named–done by monday for my critique.
plus! for my digital media class, i have to make an “alter ego website.” so i am making a website for bluejean. the big whimsy pieces will be presented in a “reading rainbow” fashion via a video and my narration. argh. i hope it works!
i’m not sure how i feel about this one. there are some aspects of it i really like, but overall i do not care for it. i told my professor that i was just going to keep putting ink on it until i do like it. i liked “spoketh the blackbear” way better. also! i am working on taking my whimsy to another dimension…
and i’m pretty excited about this. originally, i was going to do face, neck, chest, shoulder, arm, & wing…but my critique is next week. so i need to get these painted and decorated for that. maybe i will add on later. i love paper mache…but i was using myself, and that was tricky–especially when misha wakes up from a nightmare when i am covered in soggy newspaper….
the semester is over in a week. i have to get busy and finish this final large narrative and finish my paper mache bluejean. then what?
more moses jones. yup. but what changes will the new episode bring…hmmm. and more whimsy, but smaller i’m sure.
plus, i am moving. leaving dusty and embracing a new future. no more fucked-up relationships. i have enough material. now i need a farm. a homestead. a room of my own.
when i noticed the utility pole out my window, i saw this image. maybe it’s the recovering catholic in me? so i drew it. and painted it. i like it. i was happy with how the roof turned out. i’m not sure about the trees & animals though. too dr. seuss?
so now i have to finish my behemoth whimsy piece. it needs at least a couple of nights of attention.
and i need to paper mache myself. that will be tricky. dusty is betting that poppy will wake up the minute i cover myself with wet, sticky newspaper. he’s probably right. maybe he can take care of the baby while i dry out? maybe?
i want to be done by the end of this weekend. i haven’t been able to work on it because i keep falling asleep at night.
damn my human need for sleep!
i am also working on a smaller piece that i just wanted to see what would happen…and i need to start my other large piece.
oh! and paper mache myself.
i need a parallel universe i can work on art in while i chase minions in this one. that would work, right?
hopefully i will have a finished shot, and some close-ups, for y’all by monday.