yesterday was sad. today is happy!
i feel like a weight is lifted. a spell cast has been removed. the sun has come out. sadly, i feel all this because dusty has gone away to wisconsin for a visit. i know. i know. i know. if his going away causes me happiness….
i feel mean that his being gone brings me such a sense of relief. but it does. like i’m not being judged every minute of the day. i’m not being brought down by negative energy. i get to be me, unfettered.
so this is my ink blot test for the day. come as you are. iggy found the duck. he & i both found the guitar. coincidentally, my co-inker for inktober also did a duck today…and a bunny yesterday. i swear i’m not copying!
i like this one. i really do. i like that splatters turn into music.
tomorrow, we are going to venture into the color blue. i already splattered some pages.
i’m off. out of whack. my zen is broken. i started one inking today at misha’s speech therapy appointment, and it somehow ended up with a puppy in it?? then this one has a unicorn? i dunno. i’m not feeling it today. i just kept adding more & more ink until i didn’t absolutely hate it.
my zen is off. i’m a mess.
i had two birthdays in a row. poppy & then fidgit. i managed to bake cakes for both of them…but i still felt like i was somehow phoning it in.
i think i am exhausted by my non-relationship with dusty. i have asked him to leave. i have asked him why he is even living here in the first place. he said, “you are totally discounting my relationship with the kids.” i told him he can have a relationship with the kids while living somewhere else. other divorced people don’t live together. i really think we should try that.
so he is squatting at my parents house. not paying rent. not paying anything. not working. sometimes helping with the kids. he thinks mowing the lawn & burning things has given him some sort of helper status….
okay, this has nothing to do with my art other than the fact that i am letting his energy sapping ways drain my creativity.
or, i am going to blame him for my sucky picture today.
but inktober continues, and i refuse to miss a day.
so here is my sucky picture.
it is another ink blot test. and i resisted & resisted & resisted and then finally gave in to the sheep that i could see being catapulted at the dragon.
i blame dusty.
colored ink today
another place i like to look for the pictures,
in ink splatters.
i love messy. messy everything. messy art. messy gardening. even messy kids. making a mess in fun. finding art in it, is most excellent.
i started one picture that turned into a princess having her hair done by a t-rex. yes, sounds cool–but looked “meh!”
while i was doing it, fidgit, my number one minion, asked me to draw him a picture.
i asked him what he wanted a picture of.
he said, “a whale.”
i LOVE humpback whales. i’m not great at realism, but i can do a half-decent humpback whale (thanks to fidgit teaching me how. he is also to credit for my squid pictures.)
so i soaked a piece of paper. then i splattered it with black ink. then some more black ink. more. then i let it dry for most of the day. then i drew in the whales. then i painted the world with ink. then i painted the water. then i painted the whales. then i used my pen some more.
to recap: ink, with more ink, followed by ink & ink & ink.
this was originally a picture in my journal…then i made it into a self-portrait. now it is the title page, inside cover, of my zine. or, it will be, as soon as i get to college library to enjoy my status as a uw student & make zines in the computer lab.
i am also working on the cover. i did one version in class & then realized how big mojo’s head was compared to her body.
if you don’t see it, look at her neck compared to her shoulders. i will post the redone cover, which already looks much better–but maybe her legs are too short? ah well.
i’m am terrified about zine fest. but excited too.
please love me, ziners of the midwest!