i have been having a hard time. not taking classes, being at the dead end of a relationship, trying to be a good mom and feeling like a complete humorless grump, unable to picture a future where i exist as anything but a failure…. i have sunk into a funk. being in a funk means little motivation for creation.
plus! my kids have been sick. the baby has it the worst and is not letting me get any sleep. no sleep equals no being able to stay up late to work on moses jones.
and today i broke the tip off one of my new rapidograph pens. the 0/35 pen. the one i have been using the most. if there is a budding benefactor of my arts out there….
but i have been drawing a little regardless. during the day when i get a smidge of freedom and no one is on top of me to bump and torment me. of course, as soon as they see i am about to give my attention to something other than them, they are quick to jump, bump, and torment. maybe i should start taking my art supplies to the bathroom with me (the only door with a lock.)
my six year old draws the most brilliant monsters. he is my inspiration for many creations. my nine year old helps me with squid and sharks, my six year old helps me draw monsters. (this is one of his:)
today i wrote a letter to a past inspiration of mine. my favorite ex-fiance. i have written him many letters and hesitate to send him yet another neurotic letter, but it’s stamped and ready to go anyway–and it was my last stamp–so i have to send it, right? i’ve had one really good relationship out of too many relationships. and i fucked it up as brilliantly as i could. i’m sure i am just a bump in the road of his love life, but i like to think there is still something there. so i wrote him a long and rambling derailed train of thought of a letter today. and i drew him a picture to show him how special, brilliant, and lovable i am despite what we both know to the contrary. it’s a variation on a sketch i did earlier.
now i am going to watch the second half of serenity –hopefully before the baby wakes up again–and hopefully while working on the next page of moses jones.
sleep tight, y’all.
do the drawings i do on my three year old’s doodle pad count as drawing a picture a day? she comes and asks me to draw “gaga” (her 9 year old brother,) and i do. then she clears it and asks me to draw “wahwah” (her 6 year old brother.) then it is “mimi” (herself) and then “baby” and then “mama” and then “daddy.” i draw her the family, and she erases each picture to have me do it all over again. sometimes pepper the cat is requested as well.
here i recreated–with a little more detail than allowed by the doodle pad–the people i draw for her. minus daddy & the cat.
so that’s as much as i have been drawing other than when i remember to draw in my journal.
one of my doodles here is from Jen Wang’s graphic novel Koko be Good. i have been working on noticing drawing styles i really like and drawing them. i don’t want to copy someone else, but if i can evolve my own style, inspired by someone else’s work, that would be cool. that’s how moses jones was born. i was trying to re-create this character based loosely on me. i looked at Jaime Hernendez’s work as well as Tank Girl to take in new ideas and evolve my own style.
speaking of moses jones, i was able to ink a page last night!! the baby stayed asleep!! the night before that, i drew two squares–before a tumbling stumbling baby wandered to the living room to find me. i am working on getting the brushwork done now. hopefully, it will be up by tomorrow. maybe i can develop a rhythm. sleep for 3 nights–stay up the fourth and do art. something like that.
that’s what they tell ya to do. draw once a day. if you’re serious about getting better….
so. i have been trying to open my journal once a day to do so. while moses jones is on my mind–i am trying to catch up on sleep and haven’t had a chance to draw all the stories in my head. meanwhile, i keep my hand, imagination, and rapidograph pen loose by drawing a doodle a day. at least.
i added watercolor to this one. i think it may have been better if i had left it just pen. or added ink brush instead.
plus! i have been reading a lot of graphic novels to see different styles and writing ideas, etc. i loved david small’s stitches. the art work was wonderful, and i love to hear about other people’s fucked up childhoods. i am also enjoying some jesse reklaw and alex robinson. i like reklaw’s art a lot. i like robinson’s stories. i have read so many graphic novels at this point that i am seriously afraid i am no longer able to read books without illustrations.
i have fallen asleep by 7 pm the past two nights…huh…. i guess i’m pretty tired. so i haven’t gotten the work done on moses jones that i was hoping to.
but here’s a quick scribble comic i did of a thought i had today while trying to read my geography homework. i posted the thought on facebook & then thought, “ah ha, i can turn that into a comic. just to give it a bit more personality….” so i did, & here it is.
weird side note. i am stuck thinking, speaking, and typing in a british accent. i believe it is a side effect of switching from coffee to tea…or the sleep deprivation…who knows, but, anyhoo, it is keeping me entertained.
here is the last one in my series of “old people with animal parts.” this one is my favorite.
i haven’t finished anymore moses jones. i have been trying to catch up on sleep instead. i think over the weekend? maybe? i hope to get a chance, but–fuck it–i really need some sleep. again, i appeal to the universe for a benefactor…a personal assistant…an extra two or three hours to the day….
hopefully i will be back before the weekend…maybe with just a sketch or another older piece to post.