if i could change the world

i am so bothered by the news of racism i see every morning in my facebook feed (which is my news source–i follow several news groups, etc.) my heart hurts with every report. i see that trump is stirring up even more of it. and i am deeply worried. it is such a destructive direction in which our country is headed.

so i keep trying to work on this comic. kind of more of a memoir/thought comic than my usual. so i am struggling with it. i am not sure of what kind of illustrations to use. if there will be dialogue. things like that. i have been playing around with lighter illustrations to offset the heavier subject matter. also, doing stories close to my actual experience (aka memoirs) is difficult for me. i thought maybe more cartoon-y would relieve that a bit.

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i did start to ink a page. i went with this format. i think it will work. with the amount of text i have, i think it will be four…maybe five, pages.

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so i’ve started! even though my minions work against me…(aren’t they supposed to work for me?) i keep giving them lectures on how i need me-time to get things done. maybe one day…. instead they are always on top of me–fighting for attention. and my comics are the ones who suffer for it.

one day…one day.

less heartache…more art

i am keeping busy with art, which lifts my heart out of its sad place and gives me a feeling of purpose…and a way to express myself that is more widely accepted (though not necessarily understood) than me just shouting profanity at the top of my lungs.

i have a critique on tuesday and need to finish a couple of more pieces. but i have finished the picture of bluejean & moonfish where i used masking fluid to create white areas before splattering the fuck out of the paper. i am not thrilled with how the dog looks…but i like it overall.

also! i colored lincoln tree the same night, dripping colored ink onto a wet piece of paper. i like how it turned out as well. i just like my art messy!

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i am still working on the “epic” moses jones…here is a sneak peek at my progress/process there:

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and i am working on a picture of moses jones as the archangel michael banishing satan…. okay. so when i first created moses jones, dusty lamented that he was not in my comic. so i tried to include him, but my subconscious turned him into a bit of an unsavory character. dusty is not evil. but he is a thorn in mojo’s ass. she has a lot of angst she needs to work out. this is just one representation of that angst (first inking using a calligraphy pen):

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and, finally, a request from fidgit…first draft…the wooly bear mammoth:

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almost there….

is that a star wars quote? “almost there?” is that what the bearded pilot is saying before he gets blowed up in episode IV? sometimes i wonder if it has gotten to the point where everything i say or think is a movie quote. i was writing a poem for my other blog and it kept sounding familiar to me. then i realized my poem was heavily influenced by horton hears a who.

ha!

anyhoo. i got some work done last night as dusty was off sorting things out with his hello kitty ex-girlfriend. i was able to work until poppy woke up and demanded that i come to bed. how is the nighttime weaning going, you ask? yeah. about that. the kid is a tyrant. it is still on my to-do list. things have been topsy-turvy round bouts here. nighttime weaning has fallen between the cracks. one day….

i inked in the rough draft of page 35 and started doing brush work. that is the next step after inking with a pen. i go in and do the ink brush in layers. i got the blacks done. now i will work on the lighter shades. maybe today?

torn between two lovers…

being a mom & being an artist. is there a compromise?

last night, preparing for a birthday party for iggy who is turning seven, i became very bitter towards dusty who pulled his usual disappearing act. i told him i was stressed out (as a rabid introvert, i hate hate hate throwing parties–but iggy loves people & parties & invited all of the neighbors over for cake today) and that i needed help. he became angry. he wanted to hang out with his brother. he complained about me under his breath all the way out the out the door and then took an hour and a half to tell his brother that he could not hang out with him after all. by that time, i had cleaned the apartment, wrapped presents, done the dishes, and blown up balloons. meanwhile, these half finished pages stared at me, silently, waiting. i feel like dusty gets to do whatever he wants, while i keep house & think about being an artist. dream about it. writing pages in my head as i nurse the baby….

ppbbbtt!

i have page 30 & 31 rough drafted. i found it seems more time efficient to do more than one page at a time. i have page 32 thumbnail sketched. i am exploring the darker side of roommates & cooperative living. or, rather, the petty side. we get to see the ugly side of jake, and more of lucy defending moses jones. meanwhile, i have realized i really do not like susan (maybe that’s why i struggle with drawing her??) and that she might be modeled after a couple of spineless women i used to cooperatively live with–who would talk the big talk, but then stab you in the back. yay, cooperative living.

so i’m preparing for random people, most of whom i don’t even like, to invade my home & eat the homemade pizza, homemade ice cream cake, and homemade cherry lemonade i have slaved over in my neurotic urge to please people i don’t even care for–to be a good hostess even though i hate throwing parties….

ppbbtt!

tomorrow? maybe?

ps. check out this sweet dragon tattoo iggy got for his birthday.

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