less heartache…more art

i am keeping busy with art, which lifts my heart out of its sad place and gives me a feeling of purpose…and a way to express myself that is more widely accepted (though not necessarily understood) than me just shouting profanity at the top of my lungs.

i have a critique on tuesday and need to finish a couple of more pieces. but i have finished the picture of bluejean & moonfish where i used masking fluid to create white areas before splattering the fuck out of the paper. i am not thrilled with how the dog looks…but i like it overall.

also! i colored lincoln tree the same night, dripping colored ink onto a wet piece of paper. i like how it turned out as well. i just like my art messy!

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i am still working on the “epic” moses jones…here is a sneak peek at my progress/process there:

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and i am working on a picture of moses jones as the archangel michael banishing satan…. okay. so when i first created moses jones, dusty lamented that he was not in my comic. so i tried to include him, but my subconscious turned him into a bit of an unsavory character. dusty is not evil. but he is a thorn in mojo’s ass. she has a lot of angst she needs to work out. this is just one representation of that angst (first inking using a calligraphy pen):

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and, finally, a request from fidgit…first draft…the wooly bear mammoth:

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waiting for keanu

i have a new laptop! and a new digital camera! (thanks student loans!)

and my drawing class is going great…(my digital art class not so much….)

my professor wants me to go epic with my graphic novelling. he gave me a rolled up sheet of paper to do a huge page with. meanwhile, my larger page is almost done.

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i totally should be done by now. but i had to go to court for a disorderly conduct charge & that had me too neurotic to draw for way too long. but, note to self, any dude who is going to put you in the position to get a disorderly conduct charge is not a dude who is worth getting charged with disorderly conduct over–especially if he also cheats, lies, and treats the mother of his children like poo. so new leaf turning time. i need to dedicate my passion to my art & children…not to their absent father. in my comic i have him physically absent–but in real life he is emotionally absent.

up top is an in process rendering of my very first comic venture as a child–hey, diddle diddle. i think i will do just the one page. or more. but more as prints than as a continuing story. but, as of today, i have decided to write a graphic novel about all the fucked-up-ness of all my relationships and title it waiting for keanu. maybe i will make that one epic as well….

(keanu, where are you? i’m waiting…come home!)

slowly i creep…

i paneled two pages. inked the first layer of ink onto one. i did that two nights ago, while watching dexter. i didn’t get to work more on it yesterday as i was struggling to fight off a crippling case of zombie-ism. or flu season is starting early this year…. but i pumped my body full of immune boosting foods and slept a lot. so i can comic on!

physically i feel much better today. though i’ve been in a bit of a funk, feeling like a failure at most of life–relationships, parenting, being an artist & writer…so it came as a very pleasant surprise to find out that moses jones had received her first donation!! sarah over at problems with infinity–who has been very supportive of moses jones since our comics first crossed paths, donated to my efforts to continue! yay! it feels so awesome to accept that people like my comic enough to help me. it feels good. i feel good.

money brings to mind what i need to invest in to make a better comic & better art and to bring that comic and art to its audience. a new camera. i did a little research. in order to make prints of my work, i need either a better digital camera, a really kick-ass scanner/printer, and-or a good relationship with a print shop. money. also! i am just a few pages away from the end of episode two of moses jones, which means i will be making a second zine. plus, for zine fest, i will need to make more copies of episode one. money money.

i am hoping to get financial aid. i was late applying for it this year & even though school starts in less than 2 weeks, i still don’t know if i will be able to supplement rent & zines, much less pay for classes. i asked for a loan from one of my sisters. i’m using a credit card (i avoid using credit cards…but….)

money.

i wish we lived in a society of trade. i have so many homemade things to trade. kimchi, chocolate chip cookies, life advice, hugs, drawings, an ear for listening, mead, elixer, entertaining stories, bread, blanket forts…. as it is, i am just giving these things away. stop by if you need any!

alas. money. stupid money.

so i have to either figure out a way to topple the monetary system (i am jack’s smirking revenge) or find a way to make my art into money….

either way, new pages soon! pages 36 & 37 are becoming ink on paper.

clogs run amok

sorry about the rerun, but my pen won’t ink; my toilet won’t flush; my love life has hit a wall.

seems i am clogged all around.

i need to clear my head. my heart. my thoughts. my feelings.

my pen & my toilet.

but i think things are turning around. i hope to have new pages soon. or at least a less violent doodle or two. an idea. an inspiration. something.

thank you to those of you who are still with me.

where did the time go?

i had plenty of time to get a page done by friday in order to keep the rhythm of a weekly page post….

durp.

i have gotten this far on page 34 & 35. i did the inking one night when i woke up & dusty had disappeared. off to see his “just friends” ex-girlfriend…. i read my tarot. did some inking. tried to stay calm…. this is proof that i can remain productive in times of emotional upheaval. which is good, because if you are me, times of emotional calm are few & far between. however, the situation with the hello kitty stalker ex-girlfriend does continue to stress me out and distract me, making my creative process a bit clogged.

i have not gotten any more done.

also, dusty has been home all week so i am easily distracted. we went adventuring two of the days. we need to find a new place to live, so that takes up a lot of my brain space.

process. progress. i went and got some cedar incense–i am told it is good for grounding. i also got some sage to smudge our home and get all this bad fucking energy out of it. and candles–to burn with intent.

then maybe i can get more work done.

pencils…we don’t need no stinkin’ pencils

i don’t usually put pages up before they are done, but i was so happy with the start of this page that i thought i would put it up and show any interested parties the process of my art.

i do not use pencils.  my motto:  i like to live with my mistakes.

ha!

i hate erasing.  i thrive on chaos & messy commitments.  therefore, i start with ink, i add more ink, and i finish with ink.  ink ink ink.  (this makes me want to go out and get more tattoos….)

so i framed this up while watching the second half of serenity.  (what the fuck!?  why didn’t anyone warn me that my favorite firefly character dies in the movie???)  then i did the first inking last night, drinking jasmine tea & listening to music.  minions willing, i might get the ink brush (second inking) tonight.  then the third inking just takes a bit of time, fixing any weirdness as much as possible & darkening up lines wanting to be darker.

also, still in the back of my head, fodder for falling asleep, is the start of trials of the moonfish and lisa the lion.

work in progress

battling cats, infants, and toddlers, i have been working on this painting for my watercolor final.  a second story board for trials of the moonfish.  this is my second attempt on this particular painting.  in the first, i made bluejean’s head too big, madam buttons’s sweater too bulky, the moonfish too chunky, the sperm whale ALL wrong, and there was too much color.  i should get this version done today in class–where there are no curious cats or snotty babies with grabby hands.

soon to be available on recycled paper

I decided that a back cover would be a good idea. 

I have dug a bag out of the closet–one of those bags designed for carrying official looking paperwork–a satchel?  I have re purposed a folder–aka, dumped it out–to put my pages into.  I have designed and finished a back cover.  I have lain the pages out to make sure there will not be any blank pages. 

Now all I have to do is walk to a print shop & turn this website into a zine.

Okay…go.

page five–valentine’s day special

page five--valentine's day special

with a few minutes to spare, i finished page five in time for valentine’s day…. i messed up a bit, again, and had to change some lettering. for some reason the white stuff i have for ink fuck ups is not easy to draw or paint over. i think i need to find a better solution…or just not fuck up. but i do like how this page turned out. i think i can live with it.

& now it’s time for bed…