if i could change the world

i am so bothered by the news of racism i see every morning in my facebook feed (which is my news source–i follow several news groups, etc.) my heart hurts with every report. i see that trump is stirring up even more of it. and i am deeply worried. it is such a destructive direction in which our country is headed.

so i keep trying to work on this comic. kind of more of a memoir/thought comic than my usual. so i am struggling with it. i am not sure of what kind of illustrations to use. if there will be dialogue. things like that. i have been playing around with lighter illustrations to offset the heavier subject matter. also, doing stories close to my actual experience (aka memoirs) is difficult for me. i thought maybe more cartoon-y would relieve that a bit.

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i did start to ink a page. i went with this format. i think it will work. with the amount of text i have, i think it will be four…maybe five, pages.

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so i’ve started! even though my minions work against me…(aren’t they supposed to work for me?) i keep giving them lectures on how i need me-time to get things done. maybe one day…. instead they are always on top of me–fighting for attention. and my comics are the ones who suffer for it.

one day…one day.

slowly i creep…

i paneled two pages. inked the first layer of ink onto one. i did that two nights ago, while watching dexter. i didn’t get to work more on it yesterday as i was struggling to fight off a crippling case of zombie-ism. or flu season is starting early this year…. but i pumped my body full of immune boosting foods and slept a lot. so i can comic on!

physically i feel much better today. though i’ve been in a bit of a funk, feeling like a failure at most of life–relationships, parenting, being an artist & writer…so it came as a very pleasant surprise to find out that moses jones had received her first donation!! sarah over at problems with infinity–who has been very supportive of moses jones since our comics first crossed paths, donated to my efforts to continue! yay! it feels so awesome to accept that people like my comic enough to help me. it feels good. i feel good.

money brings to mind what i need to invest in to make a better comic & better art and to bring that comic and art to its audience. a new camera. i did a little research. in order to make prints of my work, i need either a better digital camera, a really kick-ass scanner/printer, and-or a good relationship with a print shop. money. also! i am just a few pages away from the end of episode two of moses jones, which means i will be making a second zine. plus, for zine fest, i will need to make more copies of episode one. money money.

i am hoping to get financial aid. i was late applying for it this year & even though school starts in less than 2 weeks, i still don’t know if i will be able to supplement rent & zines, much less pay for classes. i asked for a loan from one of my sisters. i’m using a credit card (i avoid using credit cards…but….)

money.

i wish we lived in a society of trade. i have so many homemade things to trade. kimchi, chocolate chip cookies, life advice, hugs, drawings, an ear for listening, mead, elixer, entertaining stories, bread, blanket forts…. as it is, i am just giving these things away. stop by if you need any!

alas. money. stupid money.

so i have to either figure out a way to topple the monetary system (i am jack’s smirking revenge) or find a way to make my art into money….

either way, new pages soon! pages 36 & 37 are becoming ink on paper.