crap. i forgot to send my mom a card. you would think counting every day of october in an ink drawing i would remember the 23rd is her birthday…crap. happy birthday, mom! you are probably getting a homemade card!! of course, it was my mom who always told me homemade presents mean the most….
today is another ink blot test. i think the rest of the month will be so as well. maybe the rest of my life because they are so much fun to do. i found another ape & another goddamned unicorn ( i so don’t want to be the kind of artist who does unicorn pictures–no offense to artists who do unicorn pictures!! different strokes and all that )
i get impatient with waiting for ink to dry. and this is on a journal page, not paper intended for a lot of water–so there is smudges & musses. by the way–this is the last page of my journal!! i did go ahead and order 3 more journals from artists & craftsmen (they were a really good price & i keep worrying that life as we know it is going to come to a standstill & i will be trapped in the country with no art supplies…i don’t want to have to kill trees to make paper…crap, i forgot to make sure i was getting recycled paper…arrrgh!)
but, as i was saying, this is the last page of a journal i started on the 4th of november, 2014. i used it for my water color class. remember that? gertrude buttons? good times! so i have been piddling in this thing for almost 2 years. wow. i need to fill the new ones up a bit faster…unless life as we know it ends & i am forced to conserve paper….
i finished, but if i had the time & energy & extra paper–i would re-do it. i messed up a bunch of stuff, even photographing it for this post did not go smoothly.
i feel “meh.”
i have my critique today. hopefully it will go okay. there are some very talented very stunning watercolor artists in my class. i can’t help but compare my limited capabilities to their impressive ones. then i have to remind myself of my strengths. wait…i will think of one…later maybe.
this whole project has left me missing moses jones. missing black & white. missing my ink. watercolors are cool. i love the way they flaw and leave their mark, but my heart is in ink. if i do continue this series, i will do so in ink.
maybe a watercolor every once in awhile.
i did this just now in my class. it felt right. i want her to be severe but not scary. sexy in her own rights–though not necessarily a beauty. i still haven’t figured out the plot of my comic…but i have my characters. and if i did them right, they should help me write the plot.
i have been seriously considering switching from a creative writing major to an art major. i feel there is so much more for me to learn about art–so much more i want to learn. i love the idea of spending my days kicking around inside the art building. also, i feel that art really helps my words come to life & my ideas come to life. i love writing. every aspect of it. but i think i translate better to art. this may sound shallow, but art offers me the immediate feedback and validation that i crave so badly as a passionately damaged individual. i feel more at home in art.
though i find i still see myself as a fraud when i look at myself through other artist’s eyes–the same as when i am among other writers. could be i may never feel genuine until i let myself feel so.
i have been getting very intimate with the features of gertrude buttons’s face. the size of her eyes, the shape of her nose, the curve of her mouth. small adjustments make another woman entirely. it kind of amazes me. i see one i like, but then i think about writing her character…and it still doesn’t click. it feels impossible when i look at all the faces. it also feels like i’m on the verge of discovery.
but fun too.
she’s starting to look like cate blanchett. small eyes, lots of eye make-up, a mouth too big for her face, and a nose that says something. that’s what i am going for. and is this a face that smokes cigarettes? drinks gin martinis? has a black belt in judo? captain’s an airship? has a soft spot for giant squid? okay–green gown picture looks like she is digging her undies out of her bum…note to self–work on placement of hands.
i am happy with how three out of four of characters look, but i am struggling with the looks of my heroine, gertrude buttons. i spent last night playing with watercolors and ink and drew so many faces. after i added thick lashes and eyeliner to my previous picture of gertrude buttons, i felt i was on to something. i also was kind of satisfied with this picture of her and her co-star, harvester jones. i just feel i haven’t quite gotten her right. it has not clicked for me yet.
meanwhile, plots are starting to develop in my head. i want it to be fantastic, yet real. which means i need to pull some serious talent out of my butt.
we’ll see how that goes.
okay. here are some preliminary drawings for my final watercolor class project as well as a comic i want to start working on along side moses jones. definitely going to have big steampunk influences, but i am ironing out plot & accumulating backstory. are they treasure hunters? maybe…but is that overdone? they don’t solve mysteries. they don’t investigate crimes. i guess it will unfold.
i’m pretty sure there is a giant squid somehow involved.