i am done with this project!
i did it. i said i would do a comic about my experiences as a white person and my personal experiences with racism. it isn’t going to turn the world on end. it may not do a damn thing. i’m hoping it might make a couple other white people reflect on their white impact. maybe it will shed light on the white mind? or start a conversation? or maybe it will sit on the internet, gathering dust. but i did it.
next i want to start playing with just using my brush & ink. let my pens have a nap (not too long of one or their ink dries up and then i curse a lot as i try to unclog $20 pens…. i could journal with my pens and create with my brush maybe.) i have a few books on chinese brush painting. painting (i used to do a lot of water color) is relaxing. maybe it will bring me out of my current funk.
i will post progress reports on this next project as progress happens.
thanks for sticking with me through my journey 🙂
again. i should be scanning these in.
one day i will.
there is a lot of color on this picture. i kind of rushed it & fucked up the color. i had iggy telling me the colors of the rainbow while his colorblind brother told us we were wrong and that there were only like 2 colors in a rainbow. i should have let the ink dry between colors. i should have been more patient…but that could be my epitaph…. sigh.
and i touch on my disenchantment with cooperative living. though i still have hope that it could be a good thing, my one experience with it was pretty traumatic. but all i mention here is how white white white it was in our “diverse” cooperative house.
so, again, main story and side stories.
a million years later….
i finished inking the first ink on the pages of my short comic about my experiences as a white member of our society. after i put up klu klux kraken i realized that that comic leaves us hanging. we need to do something…but what? my first “what” is this comic i was born in a white town. i just want to identify that racism is prevalent and start a conversation about it. so i’m sharing my–not that exciting–but hopefully relevant first thoughts about race and how i have interacted with it in my own life.
or something like that.
at least my self-portraits are convincing. here is misha saying, “two mommies!!” as she points to some of my self-portrait work in this comic.
i have been doing a lot of my comicking as my children run about. i can’t survive their bedtimes to do art later…so i am learning to do art as they interact with me. it’s rough. my train of thought is often derailed. and i get bumped and get grumpy about getting bumped…but at least i’m still going!
though i do not have a room of my own…maybe i am a new breed of writer. one who can function amidst chaos….
though i still wouldn’t mind a room of my own….
maybe one day…and then i will get bored and wander out of it to see where all the excitement is.
here’s what i ended up with.
i think i’m happy with it. i tried to go all symbolic & stuff. i don’t know.
racism is a monster. i know that much. how to stop it?
how do we stop it?
i would make a poor current events comic stripper.
however, unfortunately racism isn’t going anywhere anytime soon (unless my fantasy of donald trump as the pied piper leading all of the racists out of town comes true.)
i did start working on my second racism-themed comic, my racism/kraken comic. i started it in my head this morning as poppy lay screaming at me. i am trying to wean him from nighttime nursing. i am losing the battle. he is a very tenacious baby. and i feel like a bully for trying to wean him…but my boobs!
i started writing my kraken comic in my head this morning & then somehow snuck some time during the day to draw it out. i wish i were more eloquent. i wish i was more artful. but this is what i got.
as far as the memoir/personal insight into racism comic goes. i am still working on it. but as stated in the previous paragraph, i am suffering a lack of creative confidence.
but i am working on it. wondering if i really do have anything to say…but determined to at least whisper it…if not scream.
i am so bothered by the news of racism i see every morning in my facebook feed (which is my news source–i follow several news groups, etc.) my heart hurts with every report. i see that trump is stirring up even more of it. and i am deeply worried. it is such a destructive direction in which our country is headed.
so i keep trying to work on this comic. kind of more of a memoir/thought comic than my usual. so i am struggling with it. i am not sure of what kind of illustrations to use. if there will be dialogue. things like that. i have been playing around with lighter illustrations to offset the heavier subject matter. also, doing stories close to my actual experience (aka memoirs) is difficult for me. i thought maybe more cartoon-y would relieve that a bit.
i did start to ink a page. i went with this format. i think it will work. with the amount of text i have, i think it will be four…maybe five, pages.
so i’ve started! even though my minions work against me…(aren’t they supposed to work for me?) i keep giving them lectures on how i need me-time to get things done. maybe one day…. instead they are always on top of me–fighting for attention. and my comics are the ones who suffer for it.
one day…one day.
this is advice given in both writing & art. tell the story that is yours to tell. do not try to tell someone else’s story.
today, reading about the hate & racism that is being stirred to a fever pitch by donald trump’s fucked up campaign, i decided to take a short hiatus from moses jones to address my experiences as a white person in this country. my experiences with the racism i was born into. my experiences as a recovering racist who still has hope that we can overcome this horrible, horrible condition. (i don’t know if condition is the right word. “disease” makes it seem as if a racist is helpless to their state of racism. we are not helpless to overcome the racism that lurks.)
i am working on two comics.
one is my experiences as a recovering racist.
the other is about how i feel regarding the state of racism in my country today.
we need to stop. we need to heal. we need to grow.