what’s old is new again

confusion perfume was discontinued in 2002 due to relationship happiness, but at one point i drew a new one. it would have to have been after 2008 because i did not join the facebook community before 2009. i found it as i was digging for paper for misha to draw on. it just needed to be inked.

i also found this one which would have been done before 2008? maybe? but of a series that came after confusion perfume.

idkwid-humane

i call this series i don’t know what i’m doing. it is my series about being a mom. two of this series were actually published in hip mama zine back in 2007/2008.

other than inking these and doodling in my journal, i haven’t gotten anything new done. i am in the middle of packing & leaving dusty in the dust. hopefully, once i am settled, i will do more moses jones as well as more stark raving whimsy.

and i will take over the world.

probably in that order.

i had a dream…

1998….

i met this redneck in a bar and married him a few weeks later because he said he loved me. then he changed his mind, and i moved out of his  house and into this cute, little apartment in lexington, kentucky. i lived there with my dog norman. he was a melon-collie. he barely tolerated my company. i would have to lock him in the bedroom with me to get him to sleep in my bed….

but i digress.

it was at this time, late 1998, that i decided i would write a zine. (i could take this narrative even further back to 1992 when i was dating an industrial goth guy who put out a fanzine–thereby introducing me to the world of zines…but, maybe i’ll stay in 1998.)

i decided i would write this awesome zine with articles and interviews and comics. i would call it “twat” and it would have a water color of a trout on the front cover.

so i got busy writing the comic for my zine…and never got around to doing anything else. that is how my first comic, confusion perfume was born. it was a narrative about a neurotic girl and her aloof dog. it might have been autobiographical…or not.

i spent the next 4ish years working on it. then i fell in love and thought i had nothing else to write about.

but i never forgot my dream of putting together a zine.

and now i have two!! two episodes of moses jones: apocalyptic mama in zine form. i am so excited. i cannot wait for saturday. i know i should talk myself down and realize that my zine fest experience might just be lukewarm at best–but i am having these crazy-ass fantasies. keanu reeves will surely show up and decide to back my comic venture as well as taking me out on the town. plus, it is halloween so i will look awesome as a steampunk zombie. it will just be amazing.

or i will get hit by a bus tomorrow.

ps. i finally got my second zine printed up (hence this posting.) hopefully i will also have some postcards of my other art to sell/display as well.

so excited!

history of the death of a pen

(current projects–doodling as i think about bluejean & trials of the moonfish. and i just started jonathan lethem’s the ecstacy of influence–i have never heard of him, though i gather from how he refers to himself that he is pretty famous. i am enjoying his writing style…but i have only read the preface.)

& back onto topic:

i use rapidograph pens. which i love, but i have heard them compared to keeping a pet in terms of upkeep required. if you don’t use them frequently, they dry up. then they are a bitch to clean.

but i love them. i love my high maintenance pens.

i got a full set of them back in the old century. when i lived in lexington, kentucky. i had just moved out of the house of my first husband. we had been married a month. i had known him for about two months. ha! another theory tested. another failed experiment in life. i decided to write a zine. i was going to call it “twat.” then i started working on the comic that would be featured in it. confusion perfume. a girl, her dog, and her neurotic dealings with life & relationships. the zine was forgotten, and i fell in love with writing & drawing comics.

backtrack to 1990. i decided i wanted to go into comics. i went to a local iowa city, iowa comic book store called “daydreams” to ask about comic writing and was directed to one of their employees, paul tobin. then a struggling comic writer. now a more successful comic writer. we became friends. but my comics were not taken seriously by me nor by him and were filed away. but i learned the comic process. pencilling , inking, lettering. & the tools. rapidograph pens & illustration board.

(as a side note, in 1992 i ended up dating a comic book artist named tim bradstreet, but he left me for this nasty girl who was apparently the love of his life. whatever. he also failed to take me seriously as a future comic powerhouse. however, i also was unimpressed with his comic art–though he was extremely impressed with himself.)

then, as mentioned, in 1998, i began my first real comic endeavor, confusion perfume. i used illustration board and a full set of rapidograph pens. my most used size–the red one–broke at one point when i lived in athens, georgia…what year was that? 2000? 2001? anyhoo. i bought a new red rapidograph with the birthday money from my grandma. and i sent her a gracious thank you note. i have continued to use that pen–reviving it when it dried up–up until yesterday when i said, “fuck it,” and put it in the pen holder with the rest of the set that i no longer use.

i had to buy new rapidographs as i started working on moses jones because i started working on smaller pages–watercolor paper instead of illustration board–therefore, in a smaller format. the smaller pens from my original set where too clogged & too tenacious in their death to be revived. so i bought new pens to work in my smaller format. my red pen just wasn’t getting the time. if i need bigger spaces inked now, i use my brush. a changing of the guards, perhaps.

rest in peace, red rapidograph.

ps. sometimes i wonder if i should revive…reissue? my comic confusion perfume. with packing to move, i still have all of those illustration boards. i’m thinking i should somehow mat & frame them & sell them. maybe i need to make a name for myself first? or i could just decorate my new place with them….

but! should i put them out there like on tapastic or something? maybe i’ll do that….who wants to read confusion perfume? speak now.

also, here’s a doodle from an idea that has just begun swimming around in my head.

updates 001

my sylvia plath fantasy….

(really building the suspense for page 30 now)

look how conservative i used to be with my ink! yes, this is my first comic confusion perfume which was written back at the turn of the century. i started writing it right after the first husband and i split up the first time and wrote it until the second husband (dusty knickers) and i met and fell in love. it was based on my neurosis & my dysfunctional single life–and starred a character based on me (that’s original, right?) and a character based on my dog–norman. i loved writing it. i wish i hadn’t stopped, but i had to obsess over a new relationship and the comic suffered for it. i’m thinking of posting it over at tapastic.com.  i will let you know.

but! oh, the point of all this, i have been to deep, dark, morbid places since we have last talked, dear reader. the blackest depths of my so-called soul. it wasn’t pretty. but i made it back. this comic here, “my olphelia fantasy” comic, came to mind while i was moping in a most poetic way. i fantasize about death–a lot–whether i am happy or sad. however, when i am sad, the fantasies are that much more…er…dark & disturbed…often about my own demise.  i have another strip from confusion perfume called “suicide girl” that continues in the same vein. getting attention & satisfaction for others’ crimes against you by dying. okay…so it’s adolescent…but it exists, those thoughts. and i wrote comics about them. it’s better than acting them out. i survive…& i make comics about it.

moses jones is much the same. except i have zombies to wrassle with in addition to my neurosis & dysfunctional relationships.

speaking of dear moses! i still haven’t finished page 30…or it would be here. but, rest assured, i am losing my mind for every day i go without creating. how much longer can i go? let’s not find out. so! tomorrow i will have something new to post…or i shall die trying!(insert dramatic music & lighting here)

after sixteen years….

sixteen years ago, after having left my first husband one month into our brief marriage (short story: i barely knew him.  we eloped.  then he told me he wasn’t sure he loved me, and i moved out. ha!) so i was living in this quaint one bedroom apartment in lexington, ky with my dog, norman, & i can’t remember why, maybe i’d been drinking, but i decided that i must write a ‘zine.  i designed the cover.  decided to name it “truite” which is french for trout but pronounced “twat” (at least in the african dialect of french??)  next i started planning a comic to go in my ‘zine, and Confusion Perfume was born–the story of a neurotic single lady and her terrible relationships with everyone including her dog.  think Cathy, but drawn and written well…and funny.  after four fun years, Confusion Perfume died when i started dating my second husband and found myself so terrifically happy that i could not write.  on retrospect, i should have seen this as a bad sign.  but 12 years and a second divorce later, i find myself in love with graphic novelling once more, and moses jones: apocalyptic mama is born.  and, with less than a year of penning this story, i have made the first episode into a comic ‘zine!!

it’s taken forever but has happened so quickly!

i have started episode two…plus, i have three more short comics peculating in my head.  good ones, too, trust me.  they will surface–probably here.  i am thinking of quitting school and going full-time as a struggling artist.  then they might be ready sooner??

i ran off 25 copies at an enormous price as kinkos seems to have disappeared, and i decided to use a local (but pricey!) printer instead.  i really do not expect anyone to buy it–but i will see if a local bookstore (rainbow books) will carry it for me…maybe some other local spots? if you want to prove my inner naysayer wrong (the voice telling me that i should not have spent all that money on printing), you can send a suggested $5 donation, plus shipping (large envelope size?) to me at 1534 Jenifer Street, Madison, Wisconsin, 53703…or just stop by, have a cup of coffee & buy a ‘zine.

more confusion perfume

more confusion perfume

so i have started some sketches of side characters that squat in the same house as moses jones, but i may not have them done until late tonight when i can work relatively uninterrupted….

meanwhile, here’s another old old one of mine. it’s timely too because just last night i locked myself in the bathroom & cut off a bunch of my hair. i think i am a short-haired chick. i try to grow it long, but that just doesn’t make sense to me. plus my hair is super dense & course & like a thicket. so i trimmed & thinned & filled the shower with so so so much hair–yet i am somehow not even close to being bald. it is therapeutic. i started growing it out again because the dad of my kids likes me with long hair. but you know what? fuck him. i’m a short-haired chick.

ps. i miss my dog. that’s him in the comic. or, the comic version of him. in the comic his name is stinky. he was a good dog even if he was condescending & questioned everything i did. he was 14 when he died, and we had been together since he was 7 weeks old. i almost named him “johnny melloncamp” but didn’t…. i should have though–that would have really pissed him off.
rest in peace, norman. i miss you.

blast from the past

blast from the past

this is my first comic comic. i wrote a comic called “confusion perfume” for about 3 years (1999-2002), and this is the very first one. i was going to start putting out a zine and started writing this comic for the zine, but then never put the zine together.

berenice is moses jones’s first incarnation. i’m not sure you can read the words in this–it’s kind of rough–but i am overwhelmed with my geography class right now, and i thought it might be fun to go back in time.

i loved doing “confusion perfume” and would have kept doing it but never could figure out how to work in the kids once they started appearing in my life. i actually gave up the comic shortly after meeting the dad of my kids. i was “happy” and that affected my work–haha.