i have doodled a bit.
& written bad poetry…as i am prone to do when feeling heartsick…or hopeful. or both at the same time.
and i have started reading neil gaiman’s collection of short stories trigger warning. i have only read the introduction and the first couple of stories, but i can tell you this–though i have always loved neil gaiman’s writing…now i am in love with his writing. plus, he seems like such an authentic person. i think about trying to contact him…but i’m still recovering from lynda barry’s callous treatment of my heart.
i miss my bubble. i know i live in somewhat of a bubble. the fictitious town of madison, wisconsin. where farmer’s market abound and local organic food is a given. where everyone recycles and liberal bumper stickers decorate many a hybrid car. not the kind of town that in on the landscape of moses jones’s world. and a rare town in my own world, i am realizing as i leave my bubble.
i miss my dusty. i can’t make the coffee right on my own. i have no one to tell the funny stuff to. and the scary stuff. well, no one i want to tell it to. how does moses jones live so long without her dusty? she must have strong walls around her heart. she must be protecting herself. not just from zombies…but from love.
ah, the insight one gets from leaving one’s comfort zone.
while uploading the picture of my daily doodles, i realized i also had pictures of dusty & poppy–and dusty & fidgit–on my camera.
i miss dusty…i even miss watching him playing killing floor 2. (dusty spends a lot of time preparing to fight zombies.) i think we will be back together soon though. he has given me reason to feel hopeful that we can save our relationship from the (w)horrors that cannibalize it. however, i find that dusty waxes and wanes like the moon, controlling the tides of me. right now the moon is full & bright…although i have learned the hard way, there is always a dark side to the moon.
yesterday i did some layout of my text to decide what would go in which panels. today i did some thumbnail sketches. hopefully i will get a chance to paint in panels later today. i also read through my journal. i have some good ideas & cool art in there. i need to use that more often–read it–inspire myself.
so, anyone who’s been reading this is aware that i am between homes, turns out i forgot to pack the rapidograph ink i use to refill my pens, and both of my pens ran dry today. all i have is my sumi ink that i use for painting in ink shadows & shades. throwing caution to the wind, i filled my high maintenance pens with an ink they aren’t used to.
so far so good. no riots. no protests. no refusals to draw.
i guess time will tell.
all in all i am feeling more settled in this home of mine–for two more weeks–this home with its good vibe & comfortable fit. i dread going back to the house of ex-in-laws. mostly for how it causes dusty’s bad behavior to amplify. but after that week with dusty’s kin, i will be in a home that will be my home for at least a year.
although the neurotic part of me believes something awful will happen in the next three weeks that will prevent our new home from ever becoming a reality. my somewhat psychic abilities are unable to see past the next three weeks & that is freaking me out. i know i sound crazy when i say that…but that doesn’t make it any less unsettling for me.
don’t tell anyone that!
maybe society as we know it is about to crash & send us into a dystopian society full of zombies & cannibals…and me with only a baseball bat.
or i will get more pages done. move into a new place. make a second zine. attend zine fest. be discovered. and somehow save the world from certain doom.
that only took forever.
i have fallen out of my groove & really need to climb back in.
moses is finishing up her thoughts on motherhood and zombie fighting as she sits around a late night kitchen table with her fellow squatters in a dystopian society complete with zombies & cannibals.
i need to work on my splatter technique. i want to try using a straw. i envy ralph steadman’s skill with ink & brush. i will have to practice. also…i still don’t know how i feel about my morlockesque zombies, but….
i finally finished a new page!
i am finding it difficult to get right back into the swing of things after being away for a few weeks. plus i’m also trying to catch up on sleep. but a new page or two are in the works & will hopefully be finished tonight.
here is another page of rough draft, scribbles, doodles, etc.
i have been super busy with the last few weeks of school. i will continue to be busy until may 7th when my last papers/stories are due. however, i took a break last night to do this page.
my zombies look more like morlocks or nosferatu…but there is a reason for this which we will get to eventually. i am not doing the trademark zombie for this–but altering them a bit so they work with the story better.
and they’re naked.
also, moses is using a staff instead of her usual katana. i’m not sure she has a katana at this point. maybe dusty will be the dude to train her and then give her a katana. but it is good to be versatile when fighting zombies & cannibals, so a staff it is.
i’m still having a bit of trouble with consistency of character. and i forget to be consistent with shadows as well. i put shadows some places, and not others…. maybe over the summer i will go back over all of my pages and touch up.
zombies & cannibals, oh my.
my therapist says it is impressive that i can put out about 3 pages a week while being a full-time mom & a half-time student. i’m not sure how good my pages are, however. i like them, but then when i look at other graphic novels, i wonder how they compare.
i should find out how most comics are illustrated. i know there is a penciling & then inking process, but there has to be more to it to make it look so uniform? research…i kinda suck at research…. my process, as i have talked about before, is ink then some more ink with some ink on top of that. lots & lots of ink. ink pens. ink on brushes. cups of water with ink residue which i try not to mix up my tea & coffee with.
okay, it’s late & i’m babbling on about ink.
even though i do not know how my process measures up–i truly enjoy my process, my stories, and my art. i hope you do too.
as a good catholic girl, any reference to sexual matters makes me squeamish…but plot is plot. & you know what they say about “tits & ass.” (watch tapeheads if you don’t know what they say–watch tapeheads anyway, it’s very funny.)
i don’t know who killed the cannibal. i thought moses did…but in the context of mentioning dusty’s disappearance, maybe it was dusty? that would explain some things….
i’m not happy with my full body drawing/silhouette work.i it definitely needs work. maybe i will do some practicing of just that. maybe i should take a figure drawing class. i think that works towards my art minor anyway. hmmm.
cannibals are assholes in the world of moses jones. they are entitlement to the nth degree. i’m not anti-cannibalism, per se. there could be a time and a place and a natural reason for it, but in moses jones’s dystopian world of tomorrow, cannibals are jerks.
i had fun drawing & painting this page. but i gave moses jones a tattoo in the flashback…& she doesn’t have one in the present pages. so i either have to go back & add the tattoo, or explain why it has disappeared…or just ignore it for now & either go forward with it or drop it again. lots of choices. but i like some consistency–which is frankly why i don’t give my characters a lot of piercings or tattoos. i have forgotten to put susan’s ear piercings in a page or two. but piercings are removable. tattoos are not. if i commit to a tattoo, i have to stick with it (just like in real life!)
i like moses jone’s tattoo. i think i will keep it. i will probably go back & add it to the older pages. it’s a pain–but so are real tattoos (haha.)
sigh…i need a new tattoo….
i feel like i’m starting to get somewhere.
i also suspect that lucy does not like jacob. i’m not sure if it’s because of the reference to a messed up supplies run–or if this is an on-going thing. i suspect that she just does not like him. i was looking at the cast picture, wondering when other house members would appear, and i realized that i have lived in several roommate situations where there is that certain housemate that i barely ever see or interact with. ha! so that might happen in my comic as well. also, on the lucy/jacob thing–i have met several people in my life that i just don’t like. there doesn’t have to be a concrete reason. and i have lived with people whom i like, but whom one of my other housemates just hates. people are weird–especially if you put them in close proximity. hopefully, i will be able to show that in my comic!
we are very close to a flashback that will hopefully explain a couple of setting/plot points. there might even be some action.
cannibals & zombies! oh my!
with a few minutes to spare, i finished page five in time for valentine’s day…. i messed up a bit, again, and had to change some lettering. for some reason the white stuff i have for ink fuck ups is not easy to draw or paint over. i think i need to find a better solution…or just not fuck up. but i do like how this page turned out. i think i can live with it.
& now it’s time for bed…