my scanner just died…

i was going to scan in some doodles & sketches because i have not been able to get any pages done. the page i was working on, i messed up and now i have to start over.

and now my scanner is dead.  there is no light.  it pretends to scan, but everything just comes out black.

that can’t be good.

so i have to buy a new scanner…with no money.

ironically, i was going to post about how i need to figure out how to draw more attention to my work so that i might actually make some money?  or at least get a bigger audience for my work.

and now i can’t even post new work…here’s a re-run.  tank girl as van gogh in pastel.

sigh.

update:  after the initial pain and horror of looking at the black screen & thinking, “that’s exactly how i feel right now,” i do have to realize my scanner (which long ago lost its ability to print & copy) is pretty old.  i honestly do not remember when i bought it.  a new one might do my art more justice & not have that blurry spot that is on all of my scans.  i think i can find a scanner-only for $50.  it bends/breaks my buy-nothing new rule (i blog more about this over at quixoticmama.com)–unless i look for a used one.  i also need to find where i can donate/recycle my dead scanner.  i am living on an extremely limited income.  this morning my ex-husband told me he doesn’t even think phone sex is a thing anymore, so i don’t know what i am going to do for money.  being paid for art would be unbelievable.  which is how i feel about it right now, unable to believe (in myself.)

poop.

after sixteen years….

sixteen years ago, after having left my first husband one month into our brief marriage (short story: i barely knew him.  we eloped.  then he told me he wasn’t sure he loved me, and i moved out. ha!) so i was living in this quaint one bedroom apartment in lexington, ky with my dog, norman, & i can’t remember why, maybe i’d been drinking, but i decided that i must write a ‘zine.  i designed the cover.  decided to name it “truite” which is french for trout but pronounced “twat” (at least in the african dialect of french??)  next i started planning a comic to go in my ‘zine, and Confusion Perfume was born–the story of a neurotic single lady and her terrible relationships with everyone including her dog.  think Cathy, but drawn and written well…and funny.  after four fun years, Confusion Perfume died when i started dating my second husband and found myself so terrifically happy that i could not write.  on retrospect, i should have seen this as a bad sign.  but 12 years and a second divorce later, i find myself in love with graphic novelling once more, and moses jones: apocalyptic mama is born.  and, with less than a year of penning this story, i have made the first episode into a comic ‘zine!!

it’s taken forever but has happened so quickly!

i have started episode two…plus, i have three more short comics peculating in my head.  good ones, too, trust me.  they will surface–probably here.  i am thinking of quitting school and going full-time as a struggling artist.  then they might be ready sooner??

i ran off 25 copies at an enormous price as kinkos seems to have disappeared, and i decided to use a local (but pricey!) printer instead.  i really do not expect anyone to buy it–but i will see if a local bookstore (rainbow books) will carry it for me…maybe some other local spots? if you want to prove my inner naysayer wrong (the voice telling me that i should not have spent all that money on printing), you can send a suggested $5 donation, plus shipping (large envelope size?) to me at 1534 Jenifer Street, Madison, Wisconsin, 53703…or just stop by, have a cup of coffee & buy a ‘zine.

bonus comic

So I am still working on my ‘zine.  Well, not really working….  But thinking!  Lots and lots of thinking.  As I chase my minions around, go to classes, cook, clean, run errands…and think.

Here’s what I think.

I think I should put one of Thing One’s comics in the same ‘zine with Moses Jones.  It is one of his first books.  Whale vs. Squid.  It’s a good one.  One of my favorites.  Simple plot, good art, lots of expression.  So now I have to find a minute to put it together.  I splotched up the cover here using Mod Podge, but I’m just going to go with it.

Meanwhile, I’m in my watercolor class this semester with all these students who are fantastic already at watercolors, & I’m feeling like a failure three weeks into class.

And I know what happens next in Moses Jones...I just have to locate my notes on it & find a minute to draw it.

i think of you often

i think of moses jones every day.  i also think about posting some new weener coop comics.  and i plan a new comic tentatively titled: scoby-dobie-do: the misadventures of a bacteria.  

however, even though school is done, my life remains complicated at best.  i have a messy “relationship” to clean up that i just keep sweeping under the bed, and i have my four kids that keep me insanely busy.  in a nutshell, i am thoroughly exhausted.  so even though i have written on my calender, everyday, to work on one project or the other, i remain paralyzed and more likely to read a clash of kings and rant to myself in a british accent, than to work on my comics.  poo.  though yesterday i did think of a beginning to the next episode of moses jones.  i am going to introduce more of the hinted at messy “relationship” with the father of her four children, dusty windbreaker. life inspires art which inspires life…or vice versa.

also!  i am working on creating a print copy ‘zine of the first episode of moses jones.  again, just must move past the paralysis of life and enrapturing lure of the game of thrones book series.

please stay tuned and thank you for your continued support!