so close!

i want to be done by the end of this weekend. i haven’t been able to work on it because i keep falling asleep at night.

damn my human need for sleep!

i am also working on a smaller piece that i just wanted to see what would happen…and i need to start my other large piece.

oh! and paper mache myself.

i need a parallel universe i can work on art in while i chase minions in this one. that would work, right?

hopefully i will have a finished shot, and some close-ups, for y’all by monday.

waiting for keanu

i have a new laptop! and a new digital camera! (thanks student loans!)

and my drawing class is going great…(my digital art class not so much….)

my professor wants me to go epic with my graphic novelling. he gave me a rolled up sheet of paper to do a huge page with. meanwhile, my larger page is almost done.

IMG_0014

i totally should be done by now. but i had to go to court for a disorderly conduct charge & that had me too neurotic to draw for way too long. but, note to self, any dude who is going to put you in the position to get a disorderly conduct charge is not a dude who is worth getting charged with disorderly conduct over–especially if he also cheats, lies, and treats the mother of his children like poo. so new leaf turning time. i need to dedicate my passion to my art & children…not to their absent father. in my comic i have him physically absent–but in real life he is emotionally absent.

up top is an in process rendering of my very first comic venture as a child–hey, diddle diddle. i think i will do just the one page. or more. but more as prints than as a continuing story. but, as of today, i have decided to write a graphic novel about all the fucked-up-ness of all my relationships and title it waiting for keanu. maybe i will make that one epic as well….

(keanu, where are you? i’m waiting…come home!)

new directions

just two weeks into school and i am ready to try some new things. something i was thinking of doing anyway which was also suggested by one of my professors, going bigger with my originals. back way back when i first started doing comics, i was a purist and used story boards. i penciled. i inked. i used a printer service to reduce and produce my final sheets…. then when i started moses jones, i started doing it the way i wanted to–not the way the bossy male “friend” comic artists told me i had to do it. i worked smaller & used just ink! ink! ink! but now i am ready to compromise. i even bought one of those blue pencils and am entertaining the idea of using pencils again. maybe….

i used a blue pencil here to try to make a slightly cleaner picture....
i used a blue pencil here to try to make a slightly cleaner picture….

so the last page of episode two will be larger & i will photograph it instead of scanning it. with the help of student loans (i am hoping our education system will be socialized soon & all these loans will be forgiven!) i am getting a new & better camera for art. i also have to get a new laptop. this one has at least four nonworking keys, overheats constantly, moves at the speed of snot, and has no battery life. i have to use adobe illustrator for one of my classes & i was afraid to install it into a dying computer…. so my buy nothing new is a bit conflicted right now because in order to get the drop & spill protection (four kids!!) i had to buy new….

so lots of stuff going on here.

the last page should be done soon! then i will make a second zine & start episode three!

how being without a home affects my art….

all of my stuff is in the garage of dusty’s sister. that includes my india ink for my rapidograph pens. i carry my yumi ink with me, but i packed away my india ink.

& now my pens are pissed off at me.

here is a whole page of doodles as a result of my trying to get my pens to accept chinese ink over indian ink. i’m not sure what the problem is. is it like car oil? is it the weight of the ink? or does yumi ink dry up faster due to higher water content? or is it just nationalism on the part of my pens?

(so i just googled to see where kor-i-noor rapidograph pens are manufactured to see if they were made in china–thus, disproving a nationalism for india; however, it appears as if they are made in the usa?? which is pretty cool if that’s right. also, i found where you can send them to massachusetts and have them repaired?? so cool if that is accurate. also, while looking at all of the rapidograph pens on all of the sites, i just got so excited. i love these pens so much. i just love them so much….)

i did get my pens to both work. the one with the smaller tip doesn’t want to. i had been carefully tapping & scribbling and tapping & scribbling to no avail. my pen would not start working. so yesterday i started shaking my pen (which is not advised) and it started working. sometimes, i guess, you have to get rough with your art supplies.

okay.

enough exciting narrative about pens.

still no pages of mojo…but soon, yes? if not this week though–then probably not before mid-august, because as of next friday, i will be crashing on couches again with dusty & the minions.

history of the death of a pen

(current projects–doodling as i think about bluejean & trials of the moonfish. and i just started jonathan lethem’s the ecstacy of influence–i have never heard of him, though i gather from how he refers to himself that he is pretty famous. i am enjoying his writing style…but i have only read the preface.)

& back onto topic:

i use rapidograph pens. which i love, but i have heard them compared to keeping a pet in terms of upkeep required. if you don’t use them frequently, they dry up. then they are a bitch to clean.

but i love them. i love my high maintenance pens.

i got a full set of them back in the old century. when i lived in lexington, kentucky. i had just moved out of the house of my first husband. we had been married a month. i had known him for about two months. ha! another theory tested. another failed experiment in life. i decided to write a zine. i was going to call it “twat.” then i started working on the comic that would be featured in it. confusion perfume. a girl, her dog, and her neurotic dealings with life & relationships. the zine was forgotten, and i fell in love with writing & drawing comics.

backtrack to 1990. i decided i wanted to go into comics. i went to a local iowa city, iowa comic book store called “daydreams” to ask about comic writing and was directed to one of their employees, paul tobin. then a struggling comic writer. now a more successful comic writer. we became friends. but my comics were not taken seriously by me nor by him and were filed away. but i learned the comic process. pencilling , inking, lettering. & the tools. rapidograph pens & illustration board.

(as a side note, in 1992 i ended up dating a comic book artist named tim bradstreet, but he left me for this nasty girl who was apparently the love of his life. whatever. he also failed to take me seriously as a future comic powerhouse. however, i also was unimpressed with his comic art–though he was extremely impressed with himself.)

then, as mentioned, in 1998, i began my first real comic endeavor, confusion perfume. i used illustration board and a full set of rapidograph pens. my most used size–the red one–broke at one point when i lived in athens, georgia…what year was that? 2000? 2001? anyhoo. i bought a new red rapidograph with the birthday money from my grandma. and i sent her a gracious thank you note. i have continued to use that pen–reviving it when it dried up–up until yesterday when i said, “fuck it,” and put it in the pen holder with the rest of the set that i no longer use.

i had to buy new rapidographs as i started working on moses jones because i started working on smaller pages–watercolor paper instead of illustration board–therefore, in a smaller format. the smaller pens from my original set where too clogged & too tenacious in their death to be revived. so i bought new pens to work in my smaller format. my red pen just wasn’t getting the time. if i need bigger spaces inked now, i use my brush. a changing of the guards, perhaps.

rest in peace, red rapidograph.

ps. sometimes i wonder if i should revive…reissue? my comic confusion perfume. with packing to move, i still have all of those illustration boards. i’m thinking i should somehow mat & frame them & sell them. maybe i need to make a name for myself first? or i could just decorate my new place with them….

but! should i put them out there like on tapastic or something? maybe i’ll do that….who wants to read confusion perfume? speak now.

also, here’s a doodle from an idea that has just begun swimming around in my head.

updates 001

what keeps me busy

i am so wrapped up in house hunting. i think of little else. plans. back-up plans. panic attacks and deep funks. i hate house hunting. house hunting when four little people are involved is…oh my god…how do i do this? today we are meeting with a single woman who is entertaining the idea of renting part of her home to us. i think about someone else having to live with my children and i find myself thinking, “i don’t even want to live with them–how can i ask a stranger to?”

okay. i don’t always feel this way about the minions. lately is just…special. poppy is grumpy. iggy is grumpy. i am grumpy. we act and react to each other all day long.

page 004

meanwhile, in my comic process, i did manage to draw something. just a journal page. but it turned out kinda cool. also, in my quest to be a better artist, i am reading the gift by lewis hyde. it is taking me awhile to read it. just snippets here and there when i’m not wrapped up in needy kids or house hunting. but so far so good. i am finally in the second half which is more applied towards artists. i will let you know what i think.

that’s all i can update you on today. poppy is screaming at me and iggy is screaming at fidgit. yay. good times.

almost there….

is that a star wars quote? “almost there?” is that what the bearded pilot is saying before he gets blowed up in episode IV? sometimes i wonder if it has gotten to the point where everything i say or think is a movie quote. i was writing a poem for my other blog and it kept sounding familiar to me. then i realized my poem was heavily influenced by horton hears a who.

ha!

anyhoo. i got some work done last night as dusty was off sorting things out with his hello kitty ex-girlfriend. i was able to work until poppy woke up and demanded that i come to bed. how is the nighttime weaning going, you ask? yeah. about that. the kid is a tyrant. it is still on my to-do list. things have been topsy-turvy round bouts here. nighttime weaning has fallen between the cracks. one day….

i inked in the rough draft of page 35 and started doing brush work. that is the next step after inking with a pen. i go in and do the ink brush in layers. i got the blacks done. now i will work on the lighter shades. maybe today?

where did the time go?

i had plenty of time to get a page done by friday in order to keep the rhythm of a weekly page post….

durp.

i have gotten this far on page 34 & 35. i did the inking one night when i woke up & dusty had disappeared. off to see his “just friends” ex-girlfriend…. i read my tarot. did some inking. tried to stay calm…. this is proof that i can remain productive in times of emotional upheaval. which is good, because if you are me, times of emotional calm are few & far between. however, the situation with the hello kitty stalker ex-girlfriend does continue to stress me out and distract me, making my creative process a bit clogged.

i have not gotten any more done.

also, dusty has been home all week so i am easily distracted. we went adventuring two of the days. we need to find a new place to live, so that takes up a lot of my brain space.

process. progress. i went and got some cedar incense–i am told it is good for grounding. i also got some sage to smudge our home and get all this bad fucking energy out of it. and candles–to burn with intent.

then maybe i can get more work done.

so i cleaned out my silverware drawer….

that counts as process, right?

i’m trying to nighttime wean poppy. he is not happy, but i need sleep. and the child is not letting me sleep for want of boob-time. so last night (this morning really) i spent an hour or more as he screamed at me, expressing his frustration at this milestone. during that time i tried to find a thingy to dose him with tylenol in hopes that it was teething pain keeping him awake and that a little medicine would help him sleep. i could not find the thingy in my silverware drawer and spent some time digging & cursing while holding a screaming baby.

so today i cleaned it out. clean silverware drawer, weaning the babe, progress for my comic?

before entering the lair of the screaming demon child, i did get work done on page 33.

can i call this “process”?

or lack thereof?

i want to practice drawing dusty who will eventually return to the story. this was drawn the upteenth time my kids made me take them outside. i was all like, “i will just draw while they play.” i got the above drawn just as poppy decided to plop down in my lap and nest there. poppy wants to be held. he wants to be nursed. he wants to be outside. usually all three at the same time. which makes it really difficult to draw.

can blogging about my inability to get any drawing done count as process? it is part of the process, in its way. i do get a lot of thinking about moses jones done as i chase, soothe, and distract small children.

dusty is the one who clogs up my thought process with daily drama. so much drama! just to insure his return to the storyline? he is lucky i love him so much that i will not sacrifice his character to a mob of famished zombies.

cute clementine 066

look how pretty he is. how am i supposed to resist? i can’t just feed him to the zombies. which, by the way, is not the appropriate way to deal with relationship problems…apparently. i guess you’ll all know if i manage to be mature and make things work with dusty despite our differences by how he plays out in the comic. hopefully, he will not end up as zombie fodder. don’t expect a “happily ever after,” but maybe there can at least be less abandonment and bitterness–& more sex.