page 33

amidst heartache and wall building (to prevent further heartache), i finished page 33 last night.

real life dusty is on the verge of leaving me again. or not. he runs hot & cold. he has this need to rescue some fucking damsel in distress and leaves me twisting in the wind with four kids. kinda like a comic book plot i know of. i keep hoping for a happily ever after with my dusty. he sometimes feels the same way.

and then he runs off with another woman.

to add insult to injury, his latest charity case wears a hello kitty backpack. she’s not six though.

i’m proud of myself for not sinking into a pit of despair and of being able to pull it together enough to work on moses jones. my life is falling apart, but at least i have mojo.

so i cleaned out my silverware drawer….

that counts as process, right?

i’m trying to nighttime wean poppy. he is not happy, but i need sleep. and the child is not letting me sleep for want of boob-time. so last night (this morning really) i spent an hour or more as he screamed at me, expressing his frustration at this milestone. during that time i tried to find a thingy to dose him with tylenol in hopes that it was teething pain keeping him awake and that a little medicine would help him sleep. i could not find the thingy in my silverware drawer and spent some time digging & cursing while holding a screaming baby.

so today i cleaned it out. clean silverware drawer, weaning the babe, progress for my comic?

before entering the lair of the screaming demon child, i did get work done on page 33.

the much anticipated–mostly by me–page 30!!

i didn’t die…or fall asleep…trying to get this page done. i even worked a bit on the next page as well. so, tell your friends, moses jones is alive and well.

the personalities of the squatters are starting to flush out. funny thing about my writing. it kind of takes on a life of its own. i don’t exactly know what will happen or who my characters are. divine inspiration? if you insist. but my stories unfold–seemingly–of their own determination. i’m sure my subconscious has some input. my memories. my neurosis. but my choices seem to me to be influenced by the characters and the stories themselves.

like susan. i didn’t realize that i didn’t like her until i tried to draw this page. i not only struggled with drawing her, but i also found myself wanting to smack her character. i’m pretty sure moses doesn’t like her either. she reminds me of a couple of women i used to live with who seemed to be cool, but when push came to shove, they would go with the pack mentality and turn on you. see, i used to live in a cooperative house–this experience largely influences my interactions with moses jones’s squatters–as i was very affected by my experiences in this house. some good–a lot bad. there were plenty of people who were nice to my face but actually plotted behind my back. so far, the squatters here are a lot more benign than the people they are based on.

and jake. who knew he could be such an asshole? i didn’t actually see that coming. i knew he was a smartass…but in these next pages he shows he can be a real asshole as well. jake, i realized, is reminding me a lot of a guy i knew a long time ago. i have also known people like him since. yes, he can be an asshole, but when push comes to shove, he will get your back in a fight…or help you move your stuff…whichever. jake’s a good guy. these pages paint him in kind of a bad way, but he is a good guy. malcolm, i’m not so sure about. he seems to have a real chip on his shoulder about moses. i don’t know what that is about. that’s what’s so fun about writing my stories–the suspense of discovering my characters and how they will turn the plot….

cheetah is still a bit of a blank page. he might be the yin to jake’s yang–or would it be yang to his yin? i guess we will see about that as well.

and the more i get to know lucy, the more i like her. she’s tough. she’s a good egg. she doesn’t take shit, & she stands up for what she believes in.

page 31 is following close behind. & page 32 is already written–but not yet drawn. exciting stuff!

if you’re looking for moses jones….

i am working on a new page, as promised…but i keep wanting to draw on my new comic as well. the story keeps unfolding in my head as i lay and nurse a baby to sleep. so i’m also working on a page of moonfish. and i found myself at the art store, with blinders on, buying just one bottle of blue ink–nothing else. i have art supplies out my ass, but i still find myself fondling paper and pens and other pretty toys whenever i go to the art store. the blue ink is for moonfish. i am going to put blue highlights on my main character. maybe elsewhere…i’m still figuring it out. i’ll know more when i get to the ink & brush stage of that first page.

also! i have, as my signature on a forum for webcomics, this site. however, this site is more of a journal and a report of process and random thoughts & occurrences that go along with creating a graphic novel when you are me. this means, it is not strictly moses jones living here. which might be confusing to someone who is just looking to read the story–not know the entirety of what is happening in my head & life as i work on said story.

therefore, i have done two things. i have created a link to my tapastic site. it should be right over there somewhere—->

and in the category section right —> there, under the tapastic link, i made it so all you had to do is click on the category of “pages” to get all of the pages that are story pages. of course, on this site, you get more than just the story. you also get the story behind the story and other random ramblings of the such. so if you just want to read the goddamned comic already, go over to tapastic (click on the enormous picture of mj’s face asking you your post apocalyptic preference).

and just because i like to share some of the adorable obstacles to my progress as a graphic novelist, this is a photo shoot i had to do when i got my camera out to document the pages i am working on.

clemonster! 009 clemonster! 010 clemonster! 011

i suck at networking

i am so stressed out from trying to network.

seriously.

i suck. i am an introvert with a capitol “I”. (see, you know i’m serious because i never capitalize anything on this blog.) being an introvert–an introvert born under the sign of cancer–such as i am, i am terrible at small talk. terrible at sucking up. terrible at being anything but sincere. if i “like” something you have done…if i comment…if i follow you, i have to feel it. i can’t do it just to put my face, name, and blog out there. i have to feel it. this makes me terrible at networking. plus! i am apparently really bad at going to the page of someone who has “liked” or “followed” or made my work their “favorite”–i am terrible about going to their page and thanking them. i feel weird doing this. it just seems over the top. but everyone else is doing it. am i rude? i am rude. i “ghost” when i leave a place. (i just learned this term for someone like me who does not say “goodbye.”) i am told often that people–before they got to know me–were afraid of me. i come off as aloof, bitchy, snooty, pick your adjective. but i’m not any of those things. okay. i can be bitchy. and i’m snooty about beer and books…. sigh.

i’m nice.

really people.

if you need a ride to the airport, or someone to watch your kids at the last minute, i would totally be there for you!

but i can’t seem to figure it out enough to show common courtesy on the internet. how ’bout this–if you have liked anything of mine in the past or are going to in the future–if you are following me or making my work one of your favorites–thank you! thank you! thank you! and if i like you back…if i follow you…you can know i am doing it because i really like your stuff. isn’t that a good thing? that has to be a good thing.

in other news, i posted–via a snapshot as i still haven’t gotten around to using a scanner and the one i ordered is saying it won’t be here until the end of the month–page 27 in progress. i am definitely getting better at drawing my characters. i fucked this page up the first time, but i like it better now. it needs more ink. obviously! but it is on its way to being finished. yay!

and remember, i love everybody…especially you.

more diddling

last night, i started doodling around with the idea of my childhood “hey diddle diddle” comic. i was in the middle of dismissing it as a bad idea. silly. when i started making the characters a bit more freaky looking. it appealed to me. i don’t know if i will continue with this story idea or not…but i definitely like the freakier approach.

i need a scanner. my camera sucks. i looked at one used scanner from craigslist & it was so old it wouldn’t work with a laptop…or would require figuring out cords, etc. and if you haven’t guessed by my low tech artwork, i am not the most tech-savvy person. i could try to sneak out to the printer’s down the street & use their scanner…but i so so so want one of my own. i keep thinking–but i need it to establish myself as an artist! am i rationalizing? (i don’t want an answer here.) i feel like i am rationalizing, but i also feel like a good scanner might help my confidence with my work. sigh.

how about if i sell my car i can buy a scanner? is that an ecological footprint trade-off?

i worry a lot that my ink & brush all hand done artwork can’t compete with all the slick comics out there that use a lot of stuff i don’t even know how to use or where i would find them or what it is called even…sigh.

but i doodle on. hoping to find my tribe of luddite graphic novelists.

more diddly 010 more diddly 011

i tried to see if the ink & brush technique i use with moses jones would work with this idea. and then i just doodled some chick. huh, that sounds wrong. oh well.

more diddly 004

doodle on, y’all.

pencils…we don’t need no stinkin’ pencils

i don’t usually put pages up before they are done, but i was so happy with the start of this page that i thought i would put it up and show any interested parties the process of my art.

i do not use pencils.  my motto:  i like to live with my mistakes.

ha!

i hate erasing.  i thrive on chaos & messy commitments.  therefore, i start with ink, i add more ink, and i finish with ink.  ink ink ink.  (this makes me want to go out and get more tattoos….)

so i framed this up while watching the second half of serenity.  (what the fuck!?  why didn’t anyone warn me that my favorite firefly character dies in the movie???)  then i did the first inking last night, drinking jasmine tea & listening to music.  minions willing, i might get the ink brush (second inking) tonight.  then the third inking just takes a bit of time, fixing any weirdness as much as possible & darkening up lines wanting to be darker.

also, still in the back of my head, fodder for falling asleep, is the start of trials of the moonfish and lisa the lion.

cover art

mj cover first draft mj cover second draftokay….

so i have been working on covers so i can put out a physical zine of episode one.  i am not entirely happy with the 1st or the 2nd draft and probably will do a third draft tonight–if i survive bedtime for bonzoes, i will work on it tonight…& catch up on dr. who before the new doctor is out….

i am not happy with the shadowing or the size of her hands.  i keep giving her dainty hands for some reason?  which is weird, because i myself have man-hands & am pretty secure with that fact….  so you would think mojo would have man-hands as well, being my alter-ego.

third draft attempt tonight…but if anyone feels like voicing an opinion or donating to my zine cause–i am here, because, no matter where i go–here i am.

weener coop revisited

weener coop revisited

here is the next page of the comic weener coop that i posted pages of back in january?

i tried it with panels & with ink wash paint. i’m not sure. i think i like it better this way. although i did enjoy it when it had no clear panels….

weener coop is based on my own experiences living in a cooperative house. one person i loathe quite thoroughly is represented. others might be collaborations of personalities. the character most possessed by me…would be the zombie, “gert.”  gert’s first comment is in response to something twinkle said on the previous page:

http://apocalypticmama.com/2014/01/24/weener-coop-to-be-continued/

 

i’m not sure about the ink paint. let me know if you have an opinion on it.

moron my process

moron my process

i thought it would be neat to put up what can be called my first draft before i draw my comic. i write out the story. figure out how i want the text broken up. then i put it on paper. this is what the writing out looks like. i also use this sheet to check the darkness of my ink. and for this page, i actually did a thumbnail sketch–which worked out nicely. i think i will keep that up. i doodled moses’s tattoo on here as well. mostly, my process is sitting & staring & waiting for inspiration. usually while watching the daily show or arrested development. things will appear in my head as i sits and as i thinks. inspiration, if you will.

failing that, i will lay down & nurse a baby–then inspiration is sure to strike.

as you can see. i don’t do much for a first draft. i prefer the raw look of my comic. if i draw the lines too neatly on the first inking, i go back after the second inking and scratch it up a bit.

i was going to post the previous page of writings & doodlings as well, but my toddler peed on it when i left it laying on the floor for too long.