the end of the month looms large and rents want to be paid…as well as a bill for internet, gas & electric, car insurance, credit card bills….
i am a broke-ass mama. dusty needs a raise. i need to make money. he won’t ask for a raise, and i let every injury cripple me and convince myself that there is no way in hell anyone would ever pay me for art…or writings…or, god forbid, art & writings such as moses jones.
i will keep creating whether or not i get paid for it. as i posted yesterday, i want to draw.
but wouldn’t getting paid be nice? wouldn’t it be nice to not lay awake at night wondering how i will pay the bills? wouldn’t it be nice to not have to borrow? wouldn’t it be nice to have enough money that i could, in turn, support other artists?
so i guess i will try. i am going to try to create single works that can be made into print. maybe try to sell small prints & cards with my artwork on them. i’m going to try.
any advice, encouragement, magic confidence powder…etc. would be appreciated on the matter.
or, if you are just feeling generous, i do have a “support an artist” paypal donate link on my sidebar. if someone were to donate, i would hope i could repay them with some original art. but i’m a mess right now…so i can’t make any promises.
i’m talking to you too, universe. putting it out there. i am more than wiling to support my family with my art–but a little seed money–a little encouragement–would be greatly appreciated.
in fact, i spent most of high school invisible. maybe i’ve gotten so good at being invisible that i no longer know how to be visible…if, in fact, i ever knew how to be visible. i was a pretty shy & quiet kid.
anyhoo. i spent a lot of today goofing off on my laptop and wondering why exactly i am not an internet sensation. but i did work a bit more on my page of sketches for in-the-works comics. i like where i’m going with bluejean, but realized i am giving her almost the same dog that moses & the gang has, a cattle dog. so then i started working on a border collie/cattle dog mix. that’s when misha discovered she could lick her finger and smear the ink as i was drawing. misha is three now. “three year old,” in my experience, translates to “asshole.” i suppose it didn’t help that i was so flabbergasted at her audacity that i burst out laughing.
maybe i will work on the dog more tonight. as she sleeps & recharges.
also! i entered chuck wendig’s flash fiction contest:
with a short story i wrote a million years ago that was once published on a web magazine called danse macabre. my story, however, has been since archived and the archives have been dumped. but it’s a pretty decent story, fitting the theme of “fuck you, clean reader” as it is a dialogue about profanity in literature. i put it up over on a tumblr blog that i use to specifically showcase my art & writing:
i need to work on my powers of visibility.
let’s see if this works.
i’m trying to create a URL link for my signature on a forum for webcomic underdogs. i want to use this image as my signature & link image…but i think i might be retarded. as a stubborn fucking luddite, i lack the patience to learn how to do this right. but to be a “successful” web comic artist, fuck. i need to figure this out.
does anyone want to volunteer to be my eyes & ears (fingers, toes, navel, etc.) on the internet?
so, like the oxymoron i am, i am a very modest exhibitionist. why, just the other day i was about to get a pelvic exam at the doctor’s and i was like, “you want to look at my what?” which is especially silly since i have given birth four times. maybe someone has managed to have a modest birth, but that person is not me. my first two i was strapped down naked to a table & cut open. my second two i walked around mostly naked for several hours–not caring who saw me–writhing in pain & eventually pushing someone out my twat while someone took pictures. ah, childbirth.
that too-much-information introduction is to set the scene for how i feel about my on-going adventure with networking. yesterday, through the forum webcomic underdogs, i learned about comic rocket, smack jeeves, and comic fury. so i am trying to put moses jones on all of those sites as well. additionally, i decided to actively post her on ello & tsu, which i have pages on, but not really any content…yet. and how often should i post? daily seems like over-doing it. twice a week? three times a week? which days? i like thursday. it is such a nice day. maybe sunday too…. i only have been posting once a week on tapastic & deviant art, but i kinda shot my load on tapastic by posting all of my moses jones (almost) to date.
so many places to be.
plus! last night i drew panels for trying a page of lisa the lion as well as a page of hey diddled. i want to get those going & post them on their own page of a comic site as well.
what to do with the children…closet? duct tape? public school? we’ll see…. (right now 3 out of 4 of them are screaming while i try to update this blog. ah, a day in the life of the stay-at-home graphic novelist.)
i am so stressed out from trying to network.
i suck. i am an introvert with a capitol “I”. (see, you know i’m serious because i never capitalize anything on this blog.) being an introvert–an introvert born under the sign of cancer–such as i am, i am terrible at small talk. terrible at sucking up. terrible at being anything but sincere. if i “like” something you have done…if i comment…if i follow you, i have to feel it. i can’t do it just to put my face, name, and blog out there. i have to feel it. this makes me terrible at networking. plus! i am apparently really bad at going to the page of someone who has “liked” or “followed” or made my work their “favorite”–i am terrible about going to their page and thanking them. i feel weird doing this. it just seems over the top. but everyone else is doing it. am i rude? i am rude. i “ghost” when i leave a place. (i just learned this term for someone like me who does not say “goodbye.”) i am told often that people–before they got to know me–were afraid of me. i come off as aloof, bitchy, snooty, pick your adjective. but i’m not any of those things. okay. i can be bitchy. and i’m snooty about beer and books…. sigh.
if you need a ride to the airport, or someone to watch your kids at the last minute, i would totally be there for you!
but i can’t seem to figure it out enough to show common courtesy on the internet. how ’bout this–if you have liked anything of mine in the past or are going to in the future–if you are following me or making my work one of your favorites–thank you! thank you! thank you! and if i like you back…if i follow you…you can know i am doing it because i really like your stuff. isn’t that a good thing? that has to be a good thing.
in other news, i posted–via a snapshot as i still haven’t gotten around to using a scanner and the one i ordered is saying it won’t be here until the end of the month–page 27 in progress. i am definitely getting better at drawing my characters. i fucked this page up the first time, but i like it better now. it needs more ink. obviously! but it is on its way to being finished. yay!
and remember, i love everybody…especially you.
(rerun image: zombie angel–i did this a few years back when i rediscovered my pens)
good news: i broke down & ordered a used scanner through amazon so i will be able to upload new art day or night, rain or shine. bad news: i don’t have any new artwork at the moment.
so i am trying to put myself “out there” as an artist/graphic novelist…which is a lot easier for me than putting myself out there as a single mother looking for love…and i have set myself up on tapastic and on deviant art. so now i’m here and on tumblr and on those two sites. i also have an ello account, but i haven’t done much with it yet other than posting, “my life is a runaway train, but i don’t know if i am snidely whiplash, dudley do-right, or nell.”
i may be jaded though. i try to go and find other artists i like, and i am having trouble. i check out the popular comics and feel empty–or deja vu. i end up “liking” & “following” the obscure and forgotten comics (which reminds me–i also joined the webcomic underdogs page.) today on tapastic’s “daily feed” i saw FOUR different comics about trying to write a comic. i’m sorry. i don’t want to offend anyone. i know i am no rembrant-nor a jane austin, and i probably shouldn’t be critiquing others. but if all you have to write/draw about is trying to write/draw??
but i am scared. those comics were in the daily feed. they were popular comics. we live in a world where 50 shades of gray is somehow taken seriously by the masses. maybe real art & good writing are a thing of the past. like my antiquated style of doing comics….
here is a close up of the part of yesterday’s sketch that i like the best. i think i need to work on the cow. my nine year old likes the cow. i’m not so sure. i am going to do some more sketches and doodles to work out some details. this is something i can work on with four crazy minions in full blown chaos mode. moses jones is not something i can work on when i am worrying about being bumped or having my ink dumped. i must wait for bedtime. assuming i survive bedtime.
i put all of episode one on tapastic today. that was exciting. another place for my comic! yay!