check it out!

i am very excited about the picture i drew today, but you will have to go over to quixotic mama if you want to see it.
when you are in a relationship with me, nothing is ever easy…until it is.
just go check it out

three wise ones

moving….

okay. so in a move to streamline and create consistency, etc. as i hope to create a market for my work, i have decided to move all of my art & comics over to my other site because i like it’s name better for an overall name to my art & comics.
sure, all of my art, etc. is at this site, but trust me, this will work.

if you are interested in getting a jump on staying updated once i have made the change, my art & comics will be moving over to:

https://quixoticmama.com/

where i have tried several times to keep blogs of different sorts (homesteading, relationship disasters, etc.) but since i blog about that stuff along with my art & comics–it makes sense to merge the two.

and as i said “quixotic mama” is a better name for my stuff than “apocalyptic mama.” because while not all of my stuff is dark & foreboding–it is all queerly optimistic.

bear with me during this transference of energy & art!

just me and my lizard brain…page two

i think i am exorcising some demons with this comic.
which is good.
i’m not sure how long this comic will end up being…
if it will be just one story,
or a continuing story.
but right now it is strong in my head
so i figure i should go with it.

i like the way the art turned out. i like using a different font. i developed the font i letter with in moses jones & other works in like..what..1998? 1999? so it is fun to use a different way of lettering with this comic. then, in a tribute to ralph steadman, i mess it up a bit. i like messy.
messy is fun.

also! i may have mentioned that i am putting my quixotic poetry together into a collection. well, i decided to put ALL of the poetry i can find that i have written over the years into that collection and to maybe try to find a publisher? maybe self publish? maybe enter it into a contest? but, fuck it, i am doing something. all that raw emotion & terrible verse just begs to be ridiculed by the public (haha!)

and i still want to be doing more ink brush painting. i think i need more paper. maybe that’s what my block is with that.
so i need to find an art store.
does anyone know any independent art stores in central illinois?

izzy & maeve

maybe this page looks rough because i feel rough.
another depressed & anxious day in the life
& i’m all like,
“since i feel like crap & a big dumb
failure…i should work on my comic about the destructive voices
that tell me i am crap
& a big dumb failure.”
so here is the very first page of
just me & my lizard brain

i am actually pretty excited about it, regardless of my depression & anxiety. what better way to deal with feeling like crap than to write a comic about feeling like crap?
i’m a genius.

or not.

it is yet to be determined. (though a quiz on facebook today told me i am a genius)

interesting side note. my main character is named after my very first therapist. maeve. what a cool name, right? it got vetoed as a baby name, so i’m naming this creation in her honor.

i hope you enjoy it. when i am feeling more centered & zen, i will try to do some chinese ink brush paintings of the cornfields i see all around me.
maybe some stark raving whimsy when i am–um–stark raving whimsical?
and when i am in the mood for fighting zombies, we will see more of moses jones!

 

 

me & my lizard brain

well this went a bit darker than i imagined. i was thinking “quirky” and…well…day 5 without my minions…arguing with the narcissistic dusty about my not seeing them for another 2 days & how pissed off i am. i pick up a pen. and my lizard brain gets pretty dark. i like it though. nothing against quirky…but whenever i read a quirky novel i kind of want to throw it at the author. repeatedly.
don’t get me wrong.
i have written some quirky crap.
like here is a quirky short story i wrote for a writer’s workshop:
a severe lack of grace

my instructor, with her funky british-japanese heritage and goth name, assured me that i was “funny” and that i would have an audience accordingly. i’m pretty sure she meant it as an insult.
suck it, rowan.

anyhoo.
so i started working on my new comic,¬†just me and my lizard brain. it could be disturbing…but i am going to try for dark & funny.

i just need my minions to come home. then i can be properly distracted and not wander to the darker realms of my brainstem.

on a lighter note! i played with more buttons.

buttons4

born in a white town (post script)

i am done with this project!

yay!

i did it. i said i would do a comic about my experiences as a white person and my personal experiences with racism. it isn’t going to turn the world on end. it may not do a damn thing. i’m hoping it might make a couple other white people reflect on their white impact. maybe it will shed light on the white mind? or start a conversation? or maybe it will sit on the internet, gathering dust. but i did it.

next i want to start playing with just using my brush & ink. let my pens have a nap (not too long of one or their ink dries up and then i curse a lot as i try to unclog $20 pens…. i could journal with my pens and create with my brush maybe.) i have a few books on chinese brush painting. painting (i used to do a lot of water color) is relaxing. maybe it will bring me out of my current funk.

i will post progress reports on this next project as progress happens.

thanks for sticking with me through my journey ūüôā

born in a white town (page 3)

again. i should be scanning these in.

one day i will.

there is a lot of color on this picture. i kind of rushed it & fucked up the color. i had iggy telling me the colors of the rainbow while his colorblind brother told us we were wrong and that there were only like 2 colors in a rainbow. i should have let the ink dry between colors. i should have been more patient…but that could be my epitaph…. sigh.

and i touch on my disenchantment with cooperative living. though i still have hope that it could be a good thing, my one experience with it was pretty traumatic. but all i mention here is how white white white it was in our “diverse” cooperative house.

so, again, main story and side stories.

 

born in a white town (page 2)

i like this page a lot. i hope y’all can read it. i have the main script and then a side panel of events as well. a scanner would obviously work better than my trying to stand there with my camera and get enough light while not creating a shadow while trying to frame it so it will crop evenly while trying not get bumped by a feral child running past.

if there are bits you cannot read, let me know, and i will either get a better picture or write out what is said in the comic here in the blog post.

hopefully you get the gist of it.

page two! a timeline of my whiteness. that i remember all my relationships with other races is telling of how little diversity i have had in my life. despite my being so fucking progressive and open-minded and choosing to live in “progressive” and “open-minded” college towns.

what? two posts in one day? has the world gone mad?

i am going to teach myself how to do chinese brush painting and do some work on canvases. in case you were wondering.

so! last night i was staring at my piece klu klux kraken and feeling unhappy with it. i began to wonder what it would look like if i started with the brush instead of the pen. this is what happened. i did most of it with brush and ink, and then i finished with my pen (not much pen at all.)

it is basically a doodle done on a piece of paper i had already messed up. just a “let’s see what happens.” but i do like it better than the first one. i really really enjoy chinese brush painting. i can’t wait to learn more about it and start trying to do my stuff with the influence of that school of art.