so close!

i want to be done by the end of this weekend. i haven’t been able to work on it because i keep falling asleep at night.

damn my human need for sleep!

i am also working on a smaller piece that i just wanted to see what would happen…and i need to start my other large piece.

oh! and paper mache myself.

i need a parallel universe i can work on art in while i chase minions in this one. that would work, right?

hopefully i will have a finished shot, and some close-ups, for y’all by monday.

i had a dream…

1998….

i met this redneck in a bar and married him a few weeks later because he said he loved me. then he changed his mind, and i moved out of his  house and into this cute, little apartment in lexington, kentucky. i lived there with my dog norman. he was a melon-collie. he barely tolerated my company. i would have to lock him in the bedroom with me to get him to sleep in my bed….

but i digress.

it was at this time, late 1998, that i decided i would write a zine. (i could take this narrative even further back to 1992 when i was dating an industrial goth guy who put out a fanzine–thereby introducing me to the world of zines…but, maybe i’ll stay in 1998.)

i decided i would write this awesome zine with articles and interviews and comics. i would call it “twat” and it would have a water color of a trout on the front cover.

so i got busy writing the comic for my zine…and never got around to doing anything else. that is how my first comic, confusion perfume was born. it was a narrative about a neurotic girl and her aloof dog. it might have been autobiographical…or not.

i spent the next 4ish years working on it. then i fell in love and thought i had nothing else to write about.

but i never forgot my dream of putting together a zine.

and now i have two!! two episodes of moses jones: apocalyptic mama in zine form. i am so excited. i cannot wait for saturday. i know i should talk myself down and realize that my zine fest experience might just be lukewarm at best–but i am having these crazy-ass fantasies. keanu reeves will surely show up and decide to back my comic venture as well as taking me out on the town. plus, it is halloween so i will look awesome as a steampunk zombie. it will just be amazing.

or i will get hit by a bus tomorrow.

ps. i finally got my second zine printed up (hence this posting.) hopefully i will also have some postcards of my other art to sell/display as well.

so excited!

i’m still here! i’m still here!!

another rerun….

i have been doodling and could post a picture accordingly, but i don’t feel like walking downstairs & finding my camera to take a picture of my artwork. plus, my canon digital camera is acting as if it does not have much longer to live. if i have any benefactors out there…hint. hint. too many kids dropping said camera after massaging it with sticky fingers, i suppose.

but i am doodling. exercising my pens, as it were, who are much happier now that i have started shaking them loose.

i am still–still still still–between homes. we had to move out of the abandoned house we were squatting in. we went back to dusty’s sister’s house, but after a fight with dusty, i packed up the minions and went to my brother’s house in my gloriously flat home state of illiniois. at least my brother keeps his fridge stocked with beer.

why did dusty & i fight? spoilers! the other woman factor…which will be addressed in comic form eventually. the other fucking woman. as if moses jones is not enough woman for any man?? phih-shaw!

so i drove off…as i will…moving my babies for the fourth time this summer. but my brother’s house, as i said, has more beer…and has fewer (none) pitbulls. there is one cranky golden lab mix however. a lot more room! a trampoline even! iggy should be in seventh heaven, but iggy is iggy and like his dusty daddy, he is hard to please.

forgive me, i babble a bit. must be the well-stocked beer fridge.

in one week…one week! if dusty & i work out our differences…in one week, we will be sleeping in our own beds and irritating our own neighbors. so exciting. in one week, i will have a space of my own once more.

and the art will flow!

until then, don’t forget me. (i have not forgotten you.)

upcoming pages of moses jones or the end of the world as we know it

yesterday i did some layout of my text to decide what would go in which panels. today i did some thumbnail sketches. hopefully i will get a chance to paint in panels later today. i also read through my journal. i have some good ideas & cool art in there. i need to use that more often–read it–inspire myself.

so, anyone who’s been reading this is aware that i am between homes, turns out i forgot to pack the rapidograph ink i use to refill my pens, and both of my pens ran dry today. all i have is my sumi ink that i use for painting in ink shadows & shades. throwing caution to the wind, i filled my high maintenance pens with an ink they aren’t used to.

so far so good. no riots. no protests. no refusals to draw.

i guess time will tell.

all in all i am feeling more settled in this home of mine–for two more weeks–this home with its good vibe & comfortable fit. i dread going back to the house of ex-in-laws. mostly for how it causes dusty’s bad behavior to amplify. but after that week with dusty’s kin, i will be in a home that will be my home for at least a year.

although the neurotic part of me believes something awful will happen in the next three weeks that will prevent our new home from ever becoming a reality. my somewhat psychic abilities are unable to see past the next three weeks & that is freaking me out. i know i sound crazy when i say that…but that doesn’t make it any less unsettling for me.

don’t tell anyone that!

yikes.

maybe society as we know it is about to crash & send us into a dystopian society full of zombies & cannibals…and me with only a baseball bat.

or i will get more pages done. move into a new place. make a second zine. attend zine fest. be discovered. and somehow save the world from certain doom.

home is where you ink your comics

i sit in a borrowed house that is home until the end of july. peaceful chaos abounds. not quite a room of my own but also not staying in a guest room. not being forced to “helicopter parent” my children for fear they will break, damage or be damaged in another person’s living space. parenting in someone else’s space has to be one of the most stressful ways to parent. parenting with an audience–also extraordinarily stressful. add in stressed out minions who are amped up on uncertainty and lack of familiar routines…it is a perfect storm of a parenting nightmare.

in the nick of time, before i lost what was left of my mind, a friend of mine abandoned her house, leaving the door open for us to squat here for a few weeks.

i miss moses jones. i think this journal page shows how much i miss her.

yesterday, at an impromptu birthday party for me, a friend of a friend who is involved with the michigan womyn’s festival asked if she could use some mojo for the back cover of the zine for the festival. i agreed–though i do worry about some of the politics–i mean, i am a feminist, but i am a very inclusive feminist…a feminist who believes that all the infighting among women should stop and we should be a united front…and that one of our best hopes for the future is to raise feminist sons as well as feminist daughters….. anyhoo, one of my early early moses jones pictures (done for an art class) is about to be used as the back cover for this zine. it will be cool to get some exposure.

speaking of zines, i am hoping to get the final pages of this episode finished & have two zines for the madison zine fest this year. hopefully, now that i have a space almost of my own, i will be a bit more productive.

topsy-turvy

so i’m “between homes” with dusty & my minions. we are staying with dusty’s family…all of them…in a duplex in small town wisconsin….sigh. dusty disappears as dusty does, and apocalyptic mamas lose a little bit more of their minds. but this too shall pass…right?

i have moses jones with me. all my materials and pages. i even remembered to get my pens out and take them for a walk to keep them from clogging as i struggle in an unfamiliar environment. struggle with my routine being fucked up. struggle with kids and cohorts stressed to the maximum.

i have not found the time, energy, or space to work on moses jones.

i need to find a place to live. so so need to do that. a room of one’s own, right? a home of one’s own? an artist loses what little she has of her mind when she squats in a two bedroom apartment with three other adults & four small children.

and i accidentally got hired to work a real job. a real job? who do i think i am? i haven’t worked outside my home since early 2006. fuck an alarm clock.

sigh.

history of the death of a pen

(current projects–doodling as i think about bluejean & trials of the moonfish. and i just started jonathan lethem’s the ecstacy of influence–i have never heard of him, though i gather from how he refers to himself that he is pretty famous. i am enjoying his writing style…but i have only read the preface.)

& back onto topic:

i use rapidograph pens. which i love, but i have heard them compared to keeping a pet in terms of upkeep required. if you don’t use them frequently, they dry up. then they are a bitch to clean.

but i love them. i love my high maintenance pens.

i got a full set of them back in the old century. when i lived in lexington, kentucky. i had just moved out of the house of my first husband. we had been married a month. i had known him for about two months. ha! another theory tested. another failed experiment in life. i decided to write a zine. i was going to call it “twat.” then i started working on the comic that would be featured in it. confusion perfume. a girl, her dog, and her neurotic dealings with life & relationships. the zine was forgotten, and i fell in love with writing & drawing comics.

backtrack to 1990. i decided i wanted to go into comics. i went to a local iowa city, iowa comic book store called “daydreams” to ask about comic writing and was directed to one of their employees, paul tobin. then a struggling comic writer. now a more successful comic writer. we became friends. but my comics were not taken seriously by me nor by him and were filed away. but i learned the comic process. pencilling , inking, lettering. & the tools. rapidograph pens & illustration board.

(as a side note, in 1992 i ended up dating a comic book artist named tim bradstreet, but he left me for this nasty girl who was apparently the love of his life. whatever. he also failed to take me seriously as a future comic powerhouse. however, i also was unimpressed with his comic art–though he was extremely impressed with himself.)

then, as mentioned, in 1998, i began my first real comic endeavor, confusion perfume. i used illustration board and a full set of rapidograph pens. my most used size–the red one–broke at one point when i lived in athens, georgia…what year was that? 2000? 2001? anyhoo. i bought a new red rapidograph with the birthday money from my grandma. and i sent her a gracious thank you note. i have continued to use that pen–reviving it when it dried up–up until yesterday when i said, “fuck it,” and put it in the pen holder with the rest of the set that i no longer use.

i had to buy new rapidographs as i started working on moses jones because i started working on smaller pages–watercolor paper instead of illustration board–therefore, in a smaller format. the smaller pens from my original set where too clogged & too tenacious in their death to be revived. so i bought new pens to work in my smaller format. my red pen just wasn’t getting the time. if i need bigger spaces inked now, i use my brush. a changing of the guards, perhaps.

rest in peace, red rapidograph.

ps. sometimes i wonder if i should revive…reissue? my comic confusion perfume. with packing to move, i still have all of those illustration boards. i’m thinking i should somehow mat & frame them & sell them. maybe i need to make a name for myself first? or i could just decorate my new place with them….

but! should i put them out there like on tapastic or something? maybe i’ll do that….who wants to read confusion perfume? speak now.

also, here’s a doodle from an idea that has just begun swimming around in my head.

updates 001

page 35

here is page 35–which i completed at the same time as page 34. two birds & all that. i need to start working on the next couple of pages. i am also house hunting…does anyone want to rent to a very entertaining family of six? budding graphic novelist mom, superior chef dad, four brilliant and precocious children? high drama! action-packed! fresh veggies! (i love to garden and am hoping to find a place with a yard & garden to putter in.)

so there’s that. house hunting for an affordable but livable place for a family of six is challenging. to raise the stakes, we have waited until the last minute to do so. i am afraid we are going to end up living with dusty’s mom–sort of crazy; no space but near by…or my parents–extremely crazy; lots of space; in a different state.

can i combine my comic blog with a house hunt blog? ha!

page 34

i’m posting later than usual. in the week…in the day…all that. i just finished pages 34 & 35. i did the two pages together–which i thought would be faster…hmmm.

life is complicated. and…that’s an understatement. in addition to all my other challenges, we need to find a new place to live. like…right now. or by the end of the month. i fear we will be crashing at the homes of relatives. scary.

in other news, i started reading understanding comics by scott mccloud. by understanding comics, i am understanding why mine is so underwhelmingly received. ha! seems people prefer a more simple type of portrait with a more realistic background. something about the brain’s perception and how one relates to comics. as with most other things in life, i am weird &/or doing it all wrong. i have my comic posted at deviantart.com. one fan mentioned that due to my comic being “different” it would not attract as big a fan base. i draw what i like to look at. i write what i like to read. i don’t really write or draw to an intended audience.

oh well.

being unpopular & misunderstood is my badge of honor. ha!

but here is page 34! moses jones endures. we’re in the woods. looking for morels & hoping not to find zombies.