or lack thereof?
i want to practice drawing dusty who will eventually return to the story. this was drawn the upteenth time my kids made me take them outside. i was all like, “i will just draw while they play.” i got the above drawn just as poppy decided to plop down in my lap and nest there. poppy wants to be held. he wants to be nursed. he wants to be outside. usually all three at the same time. which makes it really difficult to draw.
can blogging about my inability to get any drawing done count as process? it is part of the process, in its way. i do get a lot of thinking about moses jones done as i chase, soothe, and distract small children.
dusty is the one who clogs up my thought process with daily drama. so much drama! just to insure his return to the storyline? he is lucky i love him so much that i will not sacrifice his character to a mob of famished zombies.
look how pretty he is. how am i supposed to resist? i can’t just feed him to the zombies. which, by the way, is not the appropriate way to deal with relationship problems…apparently. i guess you’ll all know if i manage to be mature and make things work with dusty despite our differences by how he plays out in the comic. hopefully, he will not end up as zombie fodder. don’t expect a “happily ever after,” but maybe there can at least be less abandonment and bitterness–& more sex.
in fact, i spent most of high school invisible. maybe i’ve gotten so good at being invisible that i no longer know how to be visible…if, in fact, i ever knew how to be visible. i was a pretty shy & quiet kid.
anyhoo. i spent a lot of today goofing off on my laptop and wondering why exactly i am not an internet sensation. but i did work a bit more on my page of sketches for in-the-works comics. i like where i’m going with bluejean, but realized i am giving her almost the same dog that moses & the gang has, a cattle dog. so then i started working on a border collie/cattle dog mix. that’s when misha discovered she could lick her finger and smear the ink as i was drawing. misha is three now. “three year old,” in my experience, translates to “asshole.” i suppose it didn’t help that i was so flabbergasted at her audacity that i burst out laughing.
maybe i will work on the dog more tonight. as she sleeps & recharges.
also! i entered chuck wendig’s flash fiction contest:
with a short story i wrote a million years ago that was once published on a web magazine called danse macabre. my story, however, has been since archived and the archives have been dumped. but it’s a pretty decent story, fitting the theme of “fuck you, clean reader” as it is a dialogue about profanity in literature. i put it up over on a tumblr blog that i use to specifically showcase my art & writing:
i need to work on my powers of visibility.
here is the last of the core cast of characters. a very ambiguous character. i am not sure of his story–& i don’t think i am supposed to be sure. i like this about his character.
now i will work on some story lines and background pictures.
ps. i am officially an art major now.
i kinda went over the top with this version of harvester wright, but i like it. i had a “Remington Steele” kinda vibe going with him from the moment he was conceived to be the male energy that would offset the female tsunami of professor buttons & her girl, bluejean. think bruce willis in “Moonlighting”…both or either Simons in “Simon & Simon”…or all of “The A-Team.” Yes, as a dysfunctional child of the ’80s, I am highly influenced by crime solving men of TV…that oh-so-masculine, aren’t-i-charming assholery of ’80s prime time men. just look at both of my failed marriages for further proof….
nonetheless, here he is, harvester wright.
he’s not the hero of this story…but he thinks he is.
in previous pictures, harvester wright has had a prominent chin. in this one i did the other day, his chin is relatively small. he appears more effeminate and not so pompous. but how do i want him to appear? smug and confident or thoughtful and a bit sad? apparently it all has to do with chin size….or my mood when i am painting. ha! i am going to try another draft today. also! i am going to do a new page or two of moses jones over the weekend. and on monday, i change my major to art. i have tentatively registered for a full spring schedule. my half-time snail’s pace of schooling is driving me slowly insane. but i need to apply for scholarships because my schooling is also driving me deeper & deeper into debt.
big chin pictures…
gertrude buttons’s girl friday. blue jean pilots & maintains the moonfish as well as always being there for professor buttons.
probably the character i feel most connected to & who will most resemble my attitudes & quirks.
she’s the coolest one in the cast, of course.
i did this just now in my class. it felt right. i want her to be severe but not scary. sexy in her own rights–though not necessarily a beauty. i still haven’t figured out the plot of my comic…but i have my characters. and if i did them right, they should help me write the plot.
i have been seriously considering switching from a creative writing major to an art major. i feel there is so much more for me to learn about art–so much more i want to learn. i love the idea of spending my days kicking around inside the art building. also, i feel that art really helps my words come to life & my ideas come to life. i love writing. every aspect of it. but i think i translate better to art. this may sound shallow, but art offers me the immediate feedback and validation that i crave so badly as a passionately damaged individual. i feel more at home in art.
though i find i still see myself as a fraud when i look at myself through other artist’s eyes–the same as when i am among other writers. could be i may never feel genuine until i let myself feel so.
i have been getting very intimate with the features of gertrude buttons’s face. the size of her eyes, the shape of her nose, the curve of her mouth. small adjustments make another woman entirely. it kind of amazes me. i see one i like, but then i think about writing her character…and it still doesn’t click. it feels impossible when i look at all the faces. it also feels like i’m on the verge of discovery.
but fun too.
she’s starting to look like cate blanchett. small eyes, lots of eye make-up, a mouth too big for her face, and a nose that says something. that’s what i am going for. and is this a face that smokes cigarettes? drinks gin martinis? has a black belt in judo? captain’s an airship? has a soft spot for giant squid? okay–green gown picture looks like she is digging her undies out of her bum…note to self–work on placement of hands.