while the baby naps…

i have doodled a bit.

& written bad poetry…as i am prone to do when feeling heartsick…or hopeful. or both at the same time.

and i have started reading neil gaiman’s collection of short stories trigger warning. i have only read the introduction and the first couple of stories, but i can tell you this–though i have always loved neil gaiman’s writing…now i am in love with his writing. plus, he seems like such an authentic person. i think about trying to contact him…but i’m still recovering from lynda barry’s callous treatment of my heart.

i miss my bubble. i know i live in somewhat of a bubble. the fictitious town of madison, wisconsin. where farmer’s market abound and local organic food is a given. where everyone recycles and liberal bumper stickers decorate many a hybrid car. not the kind of town that in on the landscape of moses jones’s world. and a rare town in my own world, i am realizing as i leave my bubble.

i miss my dusty. i can’t make the coffee right on my own. i have no one to tell the funny stuff to. and the scary stuff. well, no one i want to tell it to. how does moses jones live so long without her dusty? she must have strong walls around her heart. she must be protecting herself. not just from zombies…but from love.

ah, the insight one gets from leaving one’s comfort zone.

while uploading the picture of my daily doodles, i realized i also had pictures of dusty & poppy–and dusty & fidgit–on my camera.

& daddy 007 & daddy 012

i miss dusty…i even miss watching him playing killing floor 2. (dusty spends a lot of time preparing to fight zombies.) i think we will be back together soon though. he has given me reason to feel hopeful that we can save our relationship from the (w)horrors that cannibalize it. however, i find that dusty waxes and wanes like the moon, controlling the tides of me. right now the moon is full & bright…although i have learned the hard way, there is always a dark side to the moon.


Author: emje

my shadows are part of who i am without those dark spots you wouldn’t be able to see my bright colors & beautiful light…. without my dark bits i think life would be much more dull.... i am sad & silly i am fierce & fantastic i am passionate & magical i am a fucking unicorn

3 thoughts on “while the baby naps…”

  1. 1) I also write terrible poetry when I’m upset, and when I write it I think it’s totally awesome, but then when I’m out of my depression I realize it’s terrible.

    2) Neil Gaiman is awesome!! I haven’t read Trigger Warning yet, but now I will!

    3) I hope things work out for you and Dusty- relationships are terrible, terrible, wonderful things.

  2. Oh my – Dusty looks very much like my husband ….

    I don’t know if I can live without my husband… but right now its so so hard to live with him sometimes…

    He’s a daily trigger

    1. i know what you mean. my way of coping (blaming my dad’s alcohol for his alcoholism for example) is to focus on an object to blame more than the person who is so in my life–so my trigger is his cell phone. she gave it to him after i threw his other one in a river because of inappropriate texts between them. i think of destroying the current one, but as it is, every time i see him look at it, i feel so angry!
      that’s funny that yours looks like mine. hmmm. i know with dusty, he was awkward looking when he was younger & is getting prettier as he ages. the attention he gets from women goes straight to his…erm…head.

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